"So he said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library.' I thought 'That's a turn-up for the books.'"

Thought, Books

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"So he said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library.' I thought 'That's a turn-up for the books.'"

Exlpore more Thought quotes

"The moment comes when a character does or says something you hadn't thought about. At that moment he's alive and you leave it to him."

Graham Greene, British Playwright

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"One great use of words is to hide our thoughts."

Voltaire, French Writer

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"Never underestimate the power of a simple thought."

Debasish Mridha, American Author

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"Knowledge is intellectual art."

Lailah Gifty Akita, Ghanaian Author

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"If we should think, we should dwell on pure thoughts."

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"I took thought, and invented what I conceived to be the appropriate title of 'agnostic'."

Thomas Huxley, English Scientist

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"Knowledge is life."

Lailah Gifty Akita, Ghanaian Author

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"I thought it completely absurd to mention my name in the same breath as the presidency."

Dwight D. Eisenhower, American President

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"In Socrates' thought the two marks of individual self-consciousness appear; it is practical and it is social."

James Mark Baldwin, American Philosopher

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"I'm often asked what I think about as I run. Usually the people who ask this have never run long distances themselves. I always ponder the question. What exactly do I think about when I'm running? I don't have a clue."

Haruki Murakami, Japanese Writer

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Explore more quotes by Tommy Cooper

"Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off."

Drink

"You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'"

Driving

"A woman tells her doctor, 'I've got a bad back.' The doctor says, 'It's old age.' The woman says, 'I want a second opinion.' The doctor says: 'Okay - you're ugly as well.'"

Age

"I went into a French restaraunt and asked the waiter, 'Have you got frog's legs?' He said, 'Yes,' so I said, 'Well hop into the kitchen and get me a cheese sandwich.'"

Kitchen

"So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me 'Can you give me a lift?' I said 'Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'"

Car

"So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'"

Building

"Last night I dreamt I ate a ten pound marshmallow. When I woke up the pillow was gone."

Night

"Well, my wife and I were married in a toilet - it was a marriage of convenience!"

Marriage

"I used to be indecisive but now I am not quite sure."

Now

"A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'"

Blind