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"So he said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library.' I thought 'That's a turn-up for the books.'"
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"When you take action-think.When you fail-think.When you are in doubt-think.When you have lost your way-think.You are nothing but your thoughts."
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Personal Development

"Wherever your thoughts and beliefs can take you, you can go there."
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Personal Development

"Give thy thoughts no tongue."
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Personal Development

"Each "way of thinking" has its own shape and color, which wax and wane like the moon."
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Personal Development

"How can the thoughts be stopped? Tell the thoughts, 'You take care of your own issues; I am not on your side.' That way you will sit on God's side."
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Personal Development

"Of course, in our train of thought, we would all like to think we're on the right track, or at least the same railroad company as the right track."
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Personal Development

"The moment comes when a character does or says something you hadn't thought about. At that moment he's alive and you leave it to him."
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Personal Development

"A man's face as a rule says more, and more interesting things, than his mouth, for it is a compendium of everything his mouth will ever say, in that it is the monogram of all this man's thoughts and aspirations."
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Personal Development

"Doubt isn't original."
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Personal Development

"The eyes of others our prisons; their thoughts our cages."
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Personal Development
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"So he said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library.' I thought 'That's a turn-up for the books.'"
Thought

"So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me 'Can you give me a lift?' I said 'Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'"
Car

"A woman tells her doctor, 'I've got a bad back.' The doctor says, 'It's old age.' The woman says, 'I want a second opinion.' The doctor says: 'Okay - you're ugly as well.'"
Age

"So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'"
Building

"I went window shopping today! I bought four windows."
Windows

"You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'"
Driving

"Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off."
Drink

"I went into a French restaraunt and asked the waiter, 'Have you got frog's legs?' He said, 'Yes,' so I said, 'Well hop into the kitchen and get me a cheese sandwich.'"
Kitchen

"A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'"
Blind

"Last night I dreamt I ate a ten pound marshmallow. When I woke up the pillow was gone."
Night
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