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"Here's the thing about Apple, we complain and they give us more battery life. We complain and they'll give us more stuff. Everything's beta right now. Everything's experimental. They really don't know what people want."
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"The condition you're in at this moment is the product of your previous thoughts, to change your condition, change your thoughts."
Personal Development

"And there wasn't anything he wanted to do that he couldn't make time for. What did he have to mope about, really? What more did he want? Love, he could hear Eve saying. Purpose. Love. Purpose. Those are the things that you can't plan for. Those are the things that just happen. And what if they don't happen? Do you spend your whole life pining for them? Waiting to be happy?"

"Quit acting like everything is so serious. Most situations aren't as bad as you fear, and those that are might benefit from a little laughter."
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"But I said wait a minute, I'm going to get a computer, I can do this as well as anybody else. So I did some studying so I knew what kind of boards to get to put a PC together. But there was a guy sitting there with Apple. I said, 'what's that?' and he goes, 'Apple with 128k, it's all built into the box,' and I bought it. That was my first computer."

"I was in the Air Force and was a boom operator (in-flight refueling). I got my comedy start in the Air Force."

"We ask for way too much stuff - way too much stuff. You got a job making $100 a year and bought a house for $3 million. Talking about, 'I don't know what happened with the payment.'"

"I'm under stress. They killed me on wikipedia. They killed me. And I didn't stay dead long enough to sell no DVDs. I didn't even stay dead long enough - I was too stupid. I should've stayed low. I should've laid low. I could've been gone for a year; I'd have made money. And then I'd have risen from the dead."

"We all want something else other than what we have and don't realize what you got works. It works. It does work. You gotta work. Marriage is work. Marriage is a career. It's not an adventure."

"Here's the thing about Apple, we complain and they give us more battery life. We complain and they'll give us more stuff. Everything's beta right now. Everything's experimental. They really don't know what people want."
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