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"I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet."
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"The pages are still blank, but there is a miraculous feeling of the words being there, written in invisible ink and clamoring to become visible."
Author Name
Personal Development
"You can wipe out your opponents. But if you do it unjustly you become eligible for being wiped out yourself."
Author Name
Personal Development
"There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy. By being happy we sow anonymous benefits upon the world."
Author Name
Personal Development
"There is more pleasure in loving than in being beloved."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The secret of being a bore... is to tell everything."
Author Name
Personal Development
"No man lives without jostling and being jostled; in all ways he has to elbow himself through the world, giving and receiving offence."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Being brilliant is no great feat if you respect nothing."
Author Name
Personal Development
"If a writer knows enough about what he is writing about, he may omit things that he knows. The dignity of movement of an iceberg is due to only one ninth of it being above water."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The difference between sentiment and being sentimental is the following: Sentiment is when a driver swerves out of the way to avoid hitting a rabbit on the road. Being sentimental is when the same driver, when swerving away from the rabbit, hits a pedestrian."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Where every something, being blent together turns to a wild of nothing."
Author Name
Personal Development
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"Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, knowing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about."
Argument
"My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet."
Father
"My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met."
Wife
"I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender."
Wife
"Yeah, I know I'm ugly... I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.'"
Ugly
"My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too."
Opinion
"The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest."
Luck
"My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive."
Car
"I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her."
Wife
"If it wasn't for pick-pockets I'd have no sex life at all."
Life
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