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"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"
Author Name
Personal Development

"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."
Author Name
Personal Development

"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."
Author Name
Personal Development

"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"
Author Name
Personal Development

"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."
Author Name
Personal Development

"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."
Author Name
Personal Development

"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
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Personal Development

"I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married."
Author Name
Personal Development

"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"
Author Name
Personal Development

"Unless you stop him. Perhaps next we meet.""You'll be just as annoying?" I guessed.He fixed my with those warm brown eyes. "Or perhaps you could bring me up to speed on those modern courtship rituals."I sat there stunned until he gave me a glimpse of a smile-just enough to let me know he was teasing. Then he disappeared."Oh, very funny!" I yelled."
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Personal Development
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"Like I've always said, love wouldn't be blind if the braille weren't so damned much fun."
Love

"I haven't lost faith in human nature and I haven't decided to be less compassionate to strangers."
Faith

"But I'm acutely aware that the possibility of fraud is even more prevalent in today's world because of the Internet and cell phones and the opportunity for instant communication with strangers."
Opportunity

"I can't imagine a more fulfilling thing for a writer than that you've made a strong impact on the lives of other people. Just because I've heard it before does not mean I don't want to hear it one more time."
Time

"I've included these little jokes and mysteries in my writing for the amusement of readers."
Humor

"I'm the age now that Rock was when he picked me up, so I can understand how he felt - how his fame limited his freedom. You get kinder as you go along."
Age

"I have always distrusted memoir. I tend to write my memoirs through my fiction. It's easier to get to the truth by not claiming that you are speaking it. Some things can be said in fiction that can never be said in memoir."
Truth

"When I get back from this book tour, I'm planning to learn the internet. Maybe I can hook up in cyberspace."
Internet

"Being in love is the only transcendent experience."
Love

"I think that instinct, that storytelling instinct, rescued me most of my life."
Life
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