"I've included these little jokes and mysteries in my writing for the amusement of readers."

Humor, Amusement, Jokes, Writing

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"I've included these little jokes and mysteries in my writing for the amusement of readers."

Exlpore more Humor quotes

"If it weren't for the last minute nothing would get done."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

Humor, Procrastination, Delay, Action

"And if I talk to him, I'll say something wrong, give something away. I can feel it coming, a betrayal of myself."

Margaret Atwood, Canadian Novelist

Humor, Escape, Solitude, Space, Privacy

"Kemp: I demonstrated conclusively this morning that invisibility--I.M: Never mind what YOU'VE DEMONSTRATED!--I'm starving, said the voice, and the night is--chilly for a man without clothes."

H. G. Wells, English Author

Humor, Observation, Survival, Humanity

"I hope you're not smoking in front of her,' Lucia says to him.'Yeah, I lie in bed and puff in her face, Lucia,' he says, irritated."

Melina Marchetta, Australian Author

Humor, Observation, Life, Interaction

"Niagara ... is the first disappointment in the married life of many Americans who spend their honeymoon there."

Oscar Wilde, Irish Dramatist

Humor, Disappointment, Marriage, Travel, America

"God alert!" Blackjack yelled. "It's the wine dude!Mr. D sighed in exasperation. "The next person, or horse, who calls me the 'wine dude' will end up in a bottle of Merlot!"

Rick Riordan, American Novelist

Humor, Truth, Wisdom, Power

"I always try to cheer myself up by singing when i get sad. Most of the time, it turns out that my voice is worse than my problems."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

Humor, Singing, Sadness, Voice

"When you love someone, you don't care that she ate your sandwich. You only hope she found it delicious."

Richelle E. Goodrich, American Poet

Humor, Love, Happiness, Today, Truth

"Looking for a wife is like fishing; before you go, make sure you don't have a hole in your net."

Matshona Dhliwayo, Zimbabwean Philosopher

Humor, Marriage, Fishing, Perspective

"I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly."

Winston Churchill, English Statesman

Humor, May, Ugly, Will

Explore more quotes by Armistead Maupin

"Well, maybe it has to do with the fact that I was a complete Hitchcock fanatic from age 9."

Age

"When I get back from this book tour, I'm planning to learn the internet. Maybe I can hook up in cyberspace."

Internet

"I believe very firmly that gay people of every stripe and age should be role models for all children, and that means interacting with them."

Age

"I know that when Terry and I were together, 10 years ago, he did not appreciate it when people would ask him what it is like being partnered with a celebrity. Precisely because it suggested that he had no value."

People

"I'm the age now that Rock was when he picked me up, so I can understand how he felt - how his fame limited his freedom. You get kinder as you go along."

Age

"For the most part, I have a very manageable celebrity. People recognize me from time to time, and they usually say very appreciative things. It affords me a great deal of pleasure."

Time

"But I'm acutely aware that the possibility of fraud is even more prevalent in today's world because of the Internet and cell phones and the opportunity for instant communication with strangers."

Opportunity

"But it's amazing how many people think that gay men should slink off into the shadows when it comes to having friendships with children."

Man

"I haven't lost faith in human nature and I haven't decided to be less compassionate to strangers."

Faith

"My only regret about being gay is that I repressed it for so long. I surrendered my youth to the people I feared when I could have been out there loving someone. Don't make that mistake yourself. Life's too damn short."

Life