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Victor Borge

"He was happily married - but his wife wasn't."

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"He was happily married - but his wife wasn't."

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"If you would have a good wife, marry one who has been a good daughter."

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"He knows little, who will tell his wife all he knows."

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"I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago."

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"Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same."

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"Two more years were to go by before I knew anything about William Blake. Many years later, when his wife died, my godfather gave me the two books as a remembrance."

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"A successful woman preacher was once asked what special obstacles have you met as a woman in the ministry? Not one, she answered, except the lack of a minister's wife."

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"Memorizing dialogue has always come easy and quickly to me. My wife Eileen is also very helpful. She gives me choices, and asks me questions, and runs my lines with me."

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"My Cleveland years were both scientifically and personally most rewarding. My wife Judy was able to rejoin me in our research and my research group grew rapidly."

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Asa Don Brown

"What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and he told me about the butcher and my wife."

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Asa Don Brown

"One day my wife went and saw the accountant and said she's pulling the plug. She said you guys are done. I said, how bad can it be? 10 grand? She said you're not even close. It came out to almost $50,000 in alcohol for two months."

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Victor Borge
"Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year."
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Victor Borge
"When an opera star sings her head off, she usually improves her appearance."
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Victor Borge
"I don't mind going back to daylight saving time. With inflation, the hour will be the only thing I've saved all year."
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Victor Borge
"My father invented a cure for which there was no disease and unfortunately my mother caught it and died of it."
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Victor Borge
"I wish to thank my parents for making it all possible... and I wish to thank my children for making it necessary."
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Victor Borge
"If I have caused just one person to wipe away a tear of laughter, that's my reward."
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Victor Borge
"Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth."
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Victor Borge
"The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer."
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Victor Borge
"Laughter is the closest distance between two people."
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Victor Borge
"He was happily married - but his wife wasn't."
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