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"When someone is impatient and says, "I haven't got all day," I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day?"
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"The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done."
Time
"I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories."
People
"I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it."
Listening
"Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting has already been established."
Example
""I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?"
Language
"I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose."
Purpose
"When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat."
America
"There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past."
Future
"There are women named Faith, Hope, Joy, and Prudence. Why not Despair, Guilt, Rage, and Grief? It seems only right. 'Tom, I'd like you to meet the girl of my dreams, Tragedy.' These days, Trajedi."
Humor
"That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it."
Society
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"Prayer: the key of the day and the lock of the night."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Let us develop the resources of our land, call forth its powers, build up its institutions, promote all its great interests, and see whether we also, in our day and generation, may not perform something worthy to be remembered."
Author Name
Personal Development
"To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man."
Author Name
Personal Development
"So let's be honest with ourselves and not take ourselves too serious, and never condemn the other fellow for doing what we are doing every day, only in a different way."
Author Name
Personal Development
"There ought to be one day - just one - when there is open season on senators."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Better one's House be too little one day than too big all the Year after."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I did feel from day one that I was a born performer."
Author Name
Personal Development
"A cold atheistical materialism is the tendency of the so-called material philosophy of the present day."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Every day, I have a most embarrassing moment."
Author Name
Personal Development
"No charges have been filed by the L.A. district attorney's office, and for that I am appreciative. I have said it before, but we all make mistakes, and the day will come soon enough where you no longer read of mine in the tabloids."
Author Name
Personal Development
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