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"I love the Olympics, because they enable people from all over the world to come together and--regardless of their political or cultural differences--accuse each other of cheating."
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"Unlike sport in business the win-win is the best possible score."
"Where there is competition, one cannot attain (true) 'Knowledge'."
"Nothing amuses people more than a cocky guy who starts losing."
"If you can cheat, so can I. I won't let you beat me unfairly - I'll beat you unfairly first."
"If you want to find the real competition, just look in the mirror. After awhile you'll see your rivals scrambling for second place."
"Rising amateurs always intimidate falling masters."
"Hmm", Jason snapped his fingers. "I can call a friend for a ride.Percy raised his eyebrows. "Oh, yeah? Me too. Let's see whose friend gets here first."
"If you are a winner by the judgements of few judges and not by your performance, you are not a real winner."
"Don't compete with your friends to win a date with few beautiful girls, but compete to win few beautiful goals."
"No more pronouncements on lousy verse. No more hidden competition. No more struggling not to be a square."
Explore more quotes by Dave Barry
"I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of diddling with his computer."
"The only kind of seafood I trust is the fish stick, a totally featureless fish that doesn't have eyeballs or fins."
"The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes."
"It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for the opportunity to rain on a tent."
"Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid."
"The world is full of strange phenomena that cannot be explained by the laws of logic or science. Dennis Rodman is only one example."
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