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"What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and he told me about the butcher and my wife."
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"I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Agnes Darling, if such should be we never meet again, while firing my last shot, I will gently breathe the name of my wife - Agnes - and with wishes even for my enemies I will make the plunge and try to swim to the other shore."
Author Name
Personal Development
"We can't thank Dave enough. He could call me if my wife was about to have a baby and tell me he needed tonight for his show and I'd find some way to get her to let me head to New York."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I think it all comes down to relationships - how I treat my wife, how I treat my kids, how I treat the guys at the grocery store, all aspects of every day, what I'm involved in."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I had been in a film, playing a young British aristocrat. My wife told me that she was invited to a dinner and she invited me to dinner and the hostess had seen me and said, 'You cannot bring him.' but I think that I've done enough to shatter the image."
Author Name
Personal Development
"And I had to take care of a little dog too named Suzy. It was the promoter's wife's - Judy Lynn's - it was her dog. And one of my duties going on the tour was to take care of it."
Author Name
Personal Development
"My wife and I have always trusted each other, and I have to thank her strength."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The studio rented a house for my wife in Los Angeles under a phony name to keep reporters away. Whenever I wanted to visit her and my children, I would have to sneak in the back door after dark."
Author Name
Personal Development
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"Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, knowing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about."
Argument
"My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met."
Wife
"I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender."
Wife
"Yeah, I know I'm ugly... I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.'"
Ugly
"My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too."
Opinion
"The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest."
Luck
"My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive."
Car
"I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her."
Wife
"I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me."
Wife
"On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me."
Kids
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