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Mark Twain

"A mighty porterhouse steak an inch and a half thick, hot and sputtering from the griddle; dusted with fragrant pepper; enriched with little melting bits of butter of the most impeachable freshness and genuineness; the precious juices of the meat trickling out and joining the gravy, archipelagoed with mushrooms; a township or two of tender, yellowish fat gracing an out-lying district of this ample county of beefsteak; the long white bone which divides the sirloin from the tenderloin still in its place."

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"A mighty porterhouse steak an inch and a half thick, hot and sputtering from the griddle; dusted with fragrant pepper; enriched with little melting bits of butter of the most impeachable freshness and genuineness; the precious juices of the meat trickling out and joining the gravy, archipelagoed with mushrooms; a township or two of tender, yellowish fat gracing an out-lying district of this ample county of beefsteak; the long white bone which divides the sirloin from the tenderloin still in its place."

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"If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world."

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"Peanut butter is a poor man's marmalade."

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"We may find in the long run that tinned food is a deadlier weapon than the machine-gun."

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"In corn, I think I've found the key to the American food chain. If you look at a fast-food meal, a McDonald's meal, virtually all the carbon in it - and what we eat is mostly carbon - comes from corn."

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"I'm not sure why it is, but I love food more than just about anything else."

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"The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small."

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"New Orleans food is as delicious as the less criminal forms of sin."

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"No man will be a sailor who has contrivance enough to get himself into a jail; for being in a ship is being in a jail, with the chance of being drowned... a man in a jail has more room, better food, and commonly better company."

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"Wit is the salt of conversation, not the food."

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"Fish is the only food that is considered spoiled once it smells like what it is."

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"The main difference between a cat and a lie is that a cat only has nine lives."
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"Never let your education interfere with your learning."
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"Hain't we got all the fools in town on our side? And ain't that a big enough majority for any town?"
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"The air up there in the clouds is very pure and fine, bracing and delicious. And why shouldn't it be?--it is the same the angels breathe."
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"In Paris they simply stared when I spoke to them in French I never did succeed in making those idiots understand their own language."
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"When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it."
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"There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist."
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"A few fly bites cannot stop a spirited horse."
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"The Public is merely a multiplied "me.""
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"Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough."
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