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"A mighty porterhouse steak an inch and a half thick, hot and sputtering from the griddle; dusted with fragrant pepper; enriched with little melting bits of butter of the most impeachable freshness and genuineness; the precious juices of the meat trickling out and joining the gravy, archipelagoed with mushrooms; a township or two of tender, yellowish fat gracing an out-lying district of this ample county of beefsteak; the long white bone which divides the sirloin from the tenderloin still in its place."
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"I believe in using words, not fists. I believe in my outrage knowing people are living in boxes on the street. I believe in honesty. I believe in a good time. I believe in good food. I believe in sex."
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Personal Development
"There is no way that writers can be tamed and rendered civilized or even cured. The only solution known to science is to provide the patient with an isolation room, where he can endure the acute stages in private and where food can be poked in to him with a stick."
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Personal Development
"Ever since Eve started it all by offering Adam the apple, woman's punishment has been to supply a man with food then suffer the consequences when it disagrees with him."
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Personal Development
"I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead."
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Personal Development
"No man will be a sailor who has contrivance enough to get himself into a jail; for being in a ship is being in a jail, with the chance of being drowned... a man in a jail has more room, better food, and commonly better company."
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Personal Development
"On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners."
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Personal Development
"I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying, dead."
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Personal Development
"I used to hang out by the food table at parties because you don't have to talk to anybody. If you do then you can talk about the food."
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Personal Development
"Every major food company now has an organic division. There's more capital going into organic agriculture than ever before."
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Personal Development
"In addition to contributing to erosion, pollution, food poisoning, and the dead zone, corn requires huge amounts of fossil fuel - it takes a half gallon of fossil fuel to produce a bushel of corn."
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"Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside."
Happiness
"A man is accepted into a church for what he believes and he is turned out for what he knows."
Religion
"It is better to take what does not belong to you than to let it lie around neglected."
Attitude
"He had had much experience of physicians, and said 'the only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not'."
Health
"I was sorry to have my name mentioned as one of the great authors, because they have a sad habit of dying off. Chaucer is dead, Spencer is dead, so is Milton, so is Shakespeare, and I'm not feeling so well myself."
Mortality
"Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness."
Wisdom
"What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin."
Humor
"From his cradle to the grave a man never does a single thing which has any first and foremost object save one-to secure peace of mind spiritual comfort for himself."
Spiritual
"The perfection of wisdom, and the end of true philosophy is to proportion our wants to our possessions, our ambitions to our capacities, we will then be a happy and a virtuous people."
Philosophy
"I always take Scotch whiskey at night as a preventive of toothache. I have never had the toothache; and what is more, I never intend to have it."
Health
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