"What all the ads and whoreoscopes seemed to imply was that if only you were narcissistic enough, if only you took proper care of your smells, your har, your boobs, your eyelashes, your armpits, your crotch, your stars, your scars, and your choice of Scotch in bars - you would meet a beautiful, powerful, potent, and rich man who would satisfy every longing, fill every hole, make your heart skip a beat (or stand still), make you misty, and fly you to the moon (preferably on gossamer wings), where you would live totally satisfied forever."

Satire, Expectation, Truth, Wisdom, Observation

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"What all the ads and whoreoscopes seemed to imply was that if only you were narcissistic enough, if only you took proper care of your smells, your har, your boobs, your eyelashes, your armpits, your crotch, your stars, your scars, and your choice of Scotch in bars - you would meet a beautiful, powerful, potent, and rich man who would satisfy every longing, fill every hole, make your heart skip a beat (or stand still), make you misty, and fly you to the moon (preferably on gossamer wings), where you would live totally satisfied forever."

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"NIHILIST, n. A Russian who denies the existence of anything but Tolstoi. The leader of the school is Tolstoi."

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"A distinguished clergyman told me that he chose the profession of a clergyman because it afforded the most leisure for literary pursuits. I would recommend to him the profession of a governor."

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"The door of Reverend Verringer's impressive manse is opened by an elderly female with a face like a pine plank; the Reverend is unmarried, and has need of an irreproachable housekeeper. Simon is ushered into the library. It is so self-consciously the right sort of library that he has an urge to set fire to it."

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Explore more quotes by Erica Jong

"We are so scared of being judged that we look for every excuse to procrastinate."

Productivity

"Men have always detested women's gossip because they suspect the truth: their measurements are being taken and compared."

Man

"Where is Hollywood located? Chiefly between the ears. In that part of the American brain lately vacated by God."

God

"Beware of the man who denounces woman writers, his penis is tiny and he cannot spell."

Feminism

"Without the gods, how would I sing?' I asked.With your own voice,' he said."

Creativity

"Filled her memory bank with shiny coins."

Memory

"I went for years not finishing anything. Because of course when you finish something you can be judged.... I had poems which were rewritten so many times I suspect it was just a way of avoiding sending them out."

Creativity

"She died of internal weeping."

Grief

"How did I get to be a grown-up? At times, I find myself still sitting on the hillside, plotting revenge against the adult world."

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"We're programmed for suffering, not joy. The masochism is built in at a very early age. You're supposed to work and suffer - and the trouble is: you believe it."

Suffering