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"Mathematicians deal with large numbers sometimes, but never in their income."
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"Sometimes absurd logic can be amusing and heart-touching."
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Personal Development
"Alimony: the cash surrender value of a husband."
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Personal Development
"Beware of giggle grins, they are highly contagious."
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Personal Development
"When I reprimanded my son for hair like Michael Jackson he said: "I don't see the problem you wear yours like Michael Jordan.""
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Personal Development
"God, you had enough time to have been through it three times. You've been through my stuff. I bet you over and let one of you stick the world's longest finger up my ass. If a prostate check is an exam, that was a motherfucking safari. I was scared to look down. I thought I'd see that guy's finger nail sticking out of my cock."
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Personal Development
"God alert!" Blackjack yelled. "It's the wine dude!Mr. D sighed in exasperation. "The next person, or horse, who calls me the 'wine dude' will end up in a bottle of Merlot!"
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Personal Development
"Probably went swimming and got eaten by a pineapple."
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Personal Development
"Monkeys who very sensibly refrain from speech, lest they should be set to earn their livings."
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Personal Development
"Igor?' said Moist. 'You have an Igor?'Oh, yes,' said Hubert. 'That's how I get this wonderful light. They know the secret of storing lightning in jars! But don't let that worry you, Mr Lipspick. Just because I'm employing an Igor and working in a cellar doesn't mean I'm some sort of madman, ha ha ha!'Ha ha,' agreed Moist.Ha hah hah!,' said Hubert. 'Hahahahahaha!! Ahahahahahahhhhh!!!!!-'Bent slapped him on the back. Hubert coughed.Sorry about that, it's the air down here,' he mumbled."
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"This was beyond a joke. This had moved beyond foolishness, slipped over the line into genuine 24 karat Jesus-Christ-I-fucked-up-bigtime territory."
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"All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You'd be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men."
Men
"There is a single light of science, and to brighten it anywhere is to brighten it everywhere."
Science
"People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do."
People
"The saddest aspect of life right now is that science gathers knowledge faster than society gathers wisdom."
Life
"Suppose that we are wise enough to learn and know - and yet not wise enough to control our learning and knowledge, so that we use it to destroy ourselves? Even if that is so, knowledge remains better than ignorance."
Knowledge
"He had read much, if one considers his long life; but his contemplation was much more than his reading. He was wont to say that if he had read as much as other men he should have known no more than other men."
Men
"It is change, continuing change, inevitable change, that is the dominant factor in society today. No sensible decision can be made any longer without taking into account not only the world as it is, but the world as it will be."
Society
"It takes more than capital to swing business. You've got to have the A. I. D. degree to get by - Advertising, Initiative, and Dynamics."
Business
"When I read about the way in which library funds are being cut and cut, I can only think that American society has found one more way to destroy itself."
Society
"Those people who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do."
People
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