"Anyone who claimed that old age had brought them patience was either lying or senile."

Humor, Age, Patience, Senile, Lie

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"Anyone who claimed that old age had brought them patience was either lying or senile."

Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Your sarcasm and general assholeness are not necessary, Apollo remarked casually.I grinned at him. "I don't think 'assholeness' is a word."It is if I say it is. Apollo drew in a deep breath, a sure sign his temper was reaching its knock-Seth-into-the-nearby-ocean point."

Jennifer L. Armentrout, American Author

Humor, Conflict, Speech, Temper

"Don't interrupt me while I'm interrupting."

Winston Churchill, English Statesman

Humor, Communication, Life, Patience

"If it weren't for the last minute nothing would get done."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

Humor, Procrastination, Delay, Action

"And if I talk to him, I'll say something wrong, give something away. I can feel it coming, a betrayal of myself."

Margaret Atwood, Canadian Novelist

Humor, Escape, Solitude, Space, Privacy

"Aw, you're nothing but heart, Mako. Nice valentine in your skull, by the way. Is that temporary or did the Tanaka-kai change their daimon to attract the Powerpuff Girls crowd?"

Elle Lothlorien, American Novelist

Humor, Observation, Social, Interaction

"This was not of the nature of a Christlike lesson for Owen Meany to learn, as he lay in the manger, that someone you hate can give you a hard-on."

John Irving, American Novelist

Humor, Observation, Religion, Truth

"Vengeance was one hell of a roommate."

J.R. Ward, American Author

Humor, Conflict, Observation, Personality

"He turned the corner and flipped me off at the same time. See? Men could multitask. I was so proud of him."

Darynda Jones, American Author

Humor, Observation, Men, Behavior

"Cheap booze is a false economy."

Christopher Hitchens, American Author

Humor, Economy, Choice, Alcohol

"Sergeant Colon of the Ankh-Morpork City Guard was on duty. He was guarding the Brass Bridge, the main link between Ankh and Morpork. From theft.When it came to crime prevention, Sergeant Colon found it safest to think big."

Terry Pratchett, English Author

Humor, Crime, Duty, Irony

Explore more quotes by Robert Jordan

"Does it make you brave to stick your hand in a bear's mouth? Would you do it again just because you didn't die?"

Challenge

"Death comes to us all, we can only choose how to face it when it comes."

Mortality

"Sometimes, pain is all that lets you know you're alive."

Survival

"One more dance along the razor's edge finished. Almost dead yesterday, maybe dead tomorrow, but alive, gloriously alive, today."

Living

"No man can walk so long in the Shadow that he cannot come again to the Light."

Faith

"Waiting turns men into bears in a barn, and women into cats in a sack."

Patience

"I've seen men die because they were sure that what should not happen,would not."

Warning

"Often you don't know whether a woman is friend, enemy or lover until it is too late. Sometimes, she is all three."

Gender

"I'll never forget the first time Davram took me by the scruff of my neck and showed me he was the stronger of us. It was magnificent! If a woman is stronger than her husband, she comes to despise him. She has the choice of either tyrannizing him or else making herself less in order not to make him less. If the husband is strong enough, though, she can be as strong as she is, as strong as she can grow to be."

Gender

"Advice! Nobody tells us how to be men. We just are." "That is probably why you make such a bad job of it."

Society