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"Have a chocolate-covered raisin, he said."They look like rat droppings, said the Chair.The Dean peered at them in the gloom."So that's it, he said. "The bag fell on the floor a minute ago, and I thought there seemed rather a lot."
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Personal Development

"Why do we laugh at such terrible things? Because comedy is often the sarcastic realization of inescapable tragedy."
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Personal Development

"I wear so many disguises on the show that only a real comedy fan might spot me."
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Personal Development

"One of my biggest problems with comedy was that I did not understand some of the jokes."
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Personal Development

"I hate comedy... Yo...-yo bitch."
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Personal Development

"Now, if you have never been hit by a flying burrito, count yourself lucky. In terms of deadly projectiles, it's right up there with grenades and cannonballs."
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Personal Development

"98% of all comedians feel obliged to be funny when interviewed. Less than 2% succeed."
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Personal Development

"Comedy to me has always seemed a social tightrope for the comedian. For all axioms intellectually sound the general public would prefer to be amused, but in those emotionally sound, it then chooses to get offended."
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Personal Development

"You need to understand that some comedy can have consequences."
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Personal Development

"I never watch comedies they suck if something sucks it sucks there isn't doubt about it."
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Personal Development
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"I want to release another CD this year, finish writing a screenplay, and make another short film."
Film

"I mean, I guess I realized subconsciously that this is what I should be doing before I realized it, consciously. Verbally, I don't think I had committed to it, even though I was driving everywhere, every night, just trying to get on stage."
Driving

"I wasn't as nervous as I thought I would be when I started."
Thought

"I had some friends that tried it down there, and I went to a couple of open mics, and I just kind of got this... this sick urge to try it instead of just watching it."
Friendship

"I do not like sports, unless you consider treating all humankind with love and respect a sport."
Love

"I don't know any astronauts. There are a lot of people who say they want to be comedians."
People

"I like pens. My writing is so amazing there's never a need to erase."
Writing

"I thought they may have presumed too much knowledge of certain things for people who are not comedians. Like Montreal. A comic understands what it is and its importance, but someone else may not know about it."
Thought

"And the goal really is to make the audience laugh, to bring them some joy."
Goal

"I don't really know much about pirates, or pirate culture. I'd be a contrarian pirate."
Culture
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