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"It totally ruins my voice. I quit smoking, drinking, and doing ecstasy."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I haven't been drinking for years now. Something's got to give. I don't mind that I'm a guy that's stopped drinking, though this interview is making me mighty thirsty."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The piano has been drinking, not me."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I dare not drink before a gig because I'll get tired and blow it. So I have to sit drinking tea in a caravan."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Those persons who suffer from indigestion, or who become drunk, are utterly ignorant of the true principles of eating and drinking."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The whole world is about three drinks behind."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I quit drinking, so I can think clear. When you have chop trouble, drinking doesn't help the healing process."
Author Name
Personal Development
"When you stop drinking, you have to deal with this marvelous personality that started you drinking in the first place."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Now tequila may be the favored beverage of outlaws but that doesn't mean it gives them preferential treatment. In fact, tequila probably has betrayed as many outlaws as has the central nervous system and dissatisfied wives. Tequila, scorpion honey, harsh dew of the doglands, essence of Aztec, crema de cacti; tequila, oily and thermal like the sun in solution; tequila, liquid geometry of passion; Tequila, the buzzard god who copulates in midair with the ascending souls of dying virgins; tequila, firebug in the house of good taste; O tequila, savage water of sorcery, what confusion and mischief your sly, rebellious drops do generate!"
Author Name
Personal Development
"Its liquor is like the sweetest dew from Heaven."
Author Name
Personal Development
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"I believe Ronald Reagan can make this country what it once was... a large Arctic region covered with ice."
Country
"We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture."
Gay
"I'm sorry, if you were right, I'd agree with you."
Right
"Do you think God gets stoned? I think so... look at the platypus."
God
"Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs."
People
"Spring is nature's way of saying, "Let's party!""
Nature
"People say satire is dead. It's not dead; it's alive and living in the White House."
People
"What's right is what's left if you do everything else wrong."
Right
"Having George W. Bush giving a lecture on business ethics is like having a leper give you a facial, it just doesn't work!"
Business
"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."
Men
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