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"Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town."
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"Before the effect one believes in different causes than one does after the effect."

"Every man is a creative cause of what happens, a primum mobile with an original movement."

"Don't speak of action [effect]. Don't serve the action [effect]. It is a result. But serve the causes [do the causes]. Nothing will be achieved unless you serve the cause."

"An explanation of cause is not a justification by reason."

"A stable, changeless state, 'twere cause indeed to weep."
Explore more quotes by George Carlin

"TOMORROW IS ANOTHER DAY. Not true. Today is another day. We have no idea what tomorrow is going to be. It might turn out to be another day, but we can't be sure. If it happens, I'll be the first to say so. But, you know what? By that time, it'll be today again."

"Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid."

"So, have a little fun. Soon enough you'll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family."

"Words are all we have, really. We have thoughts but thoughts are fluid. Then we assign a word to a thought and we're stuck with that word for that thought, so be careful with words. I like to think that the same words that hurt can heal. It's a matter of how you pick them."

"Y'ever notice how you never seem to get laid on Thanksgiving? I think it's because all the coats are on the bed."

"You show me a lazy prick who's lying in bed all day, watching TV, only occasionally getting up to piss, and I'll show you a guy who's not causing any trouble."

"No matter how you care to define it, I do not identify with the local group. Planet, species, race, nation, state, religion, party, union, club, association, neighborhood improvement committee; I have no interest in any of it. I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to."
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