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"And thus he found his single source of joy in the society of other people: frightening the girls with his penis."
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Exlpore more Humor quotes
"Some kleptomaniacs do not steal things only; they also, while some only, steal lovers."
"You know, Aunt Tasha makes jokes about how youE1d actually be a better queen than the others, except sometimes . . . I donE1t think sheE1s joking."
"A tie is what you get after ice cubes have wrestled with hot water."
"Everyone has a sense of humor. If you don't laugh at jokes, you probably laugh at opinions."
"Milk is the only juice in a world of cows."
Explore more quotes by Christopher Moore
"One day I was telling him that I thought that cars had replaced guns as phallic symbols for American men, and I thought it was interesting that he had one that was so small and fast. The next day he gave me the Datsun and went out and bought a Lincoln."
"Stephenie Meyer: Her vampires are sparkly, which I think we can all agree is wrong."
"Don't be so hard on yourself, You're doing the same thing, trying to reconcile all the moms that Mom ever was - The one you wanted, the one she was when you needed her and she was there, the one she was when she didn't understand. Most of us don't live our lives with one, integrated self that meets the world, we're a whole bunch of selves. When someone dies, they all integrate into the soul - the essence of who we are, beyond the different faces we wear throughout our lives. You're just hating the selves you've always hated, and loving the ones you've always loved. It's bound to mess you up."
"Sweet Pocket, you mustn't ask about my life before I came here. What I am now, I have always been, and everything I am is here with you."
"'Sweet Thalia,' said I. 'That is a fiery flagon of dragon toss.'"
"But to remain historically accurate, I would have had to leave out an important question that I felt needed to be addressed, which is, 'What if Jesus had known kung fu?"
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