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"I don't feel I'm even worthy of a normal amount of value."
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"If you want to know the value of half a second, ask the person who came second in a sprint event at the Olympics."
"If you want to know the value of a week ask the editor of a weekly magazine if he fails to meet up with the target of his weekly publication."
"Gold may shine, but it has no true light."
"Every one of us is, in the cosmic perspective, precious. If a human disagrees with you, let him live. In a hundred billion galaxies, you will not find another."
"People who do not have a price tag attached to them are priceless."
"Even the most beautiful girl in the world becomes unsightly without depth of character."
"The difference between working for a salary and working for your promise land is that when you work for a salary, you are exchanging your life just for some porridge, some little compensation in the form of salary."
Explore more quotes by Todd Barry
"Only lately, like within the last few years, have I had people actually do an impression of me to me, which weirds me out to think of what they have picked up on, without ever realizing it myself."
"I would call it a comedy variety show. We have some people just doing straight standup. We usually try to have one musical act of sort. So its just people being funny in different ways, not just sketch, not just standup, not just characters, all of those things."
"I am the the type to have a personal experience with a celebrity, but I'm too classy to bring that up."
"I do not like sports, unless you consider treating all humankind with love and respect a sport."
"I had some friends that tried it down there, and I went to a couple of open mics, and I just kind of got this... this sick urge to try it instead of just watching it."
"If you see me at a restaurant, blow me a kiss, wave, blow me another kiss, then walk five steps backward."
"I basically did comedy there for about a year, and then moved to New York. If I had it to do over again, I would have booked myself on the road for at least a year."
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