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Rita Rudner

"Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry."

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"Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry."

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Donna Grant

"Marriage is a feast where the grace is sometimes better than the dinner."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"Any fool can marry, but only the wise live happily ever after."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"Men have a much better time of it than women. For one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"Her chances of a decent marriage were about to be dashed-and all because of a ferret."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"Marriage, a market which has nothing free but the entrance."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"Marriage is a million piece puzzle, a pristine and exciting pursuit at the beginning that gradually becomes a daunting task, usually more challenging than anticipated. It is only those truly committed to solving that puzzle who witness in the end the miraculous outcome of every tiny piece laid out and pressed together in an inspiring and envious creation-a treasure only time, resoluteness, and perseverance could create."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"Perhaps my problem in marriage-and it is the problem of many women-was to want both intimacy and independence. It is a difficult line to walk, yet both needs are important to a marriage."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"Not cohabitation but consensus constitutes marriage."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"What is fascinating about marriage is why anyone wants to get married."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"Any good marriage is secret territory, a necessary white space on society's map. What others don't know about it is what makes it yours."

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Rita Rudner
"It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life."

Life

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Rita Rudner
"My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head."

Age

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Rita Rudner
"I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them."

Care

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Rita Rudner
"To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior.""

Car

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Rita Rudner
"I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso."

Office

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Rita Rudner
"The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down."

Word

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Rita Rudner
"Most turkeys taste better the day after, my mother's tasted better the day before."

Mother

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Rita Rudner
"My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping."

Husband

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Rita Rudner
"I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours."

Children

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Rita Rudner
"My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives."

Husband

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