"Texan starting eternity: I never dreamed heaven would be so much like Texas. companion: Who said this was heaven?"

Humor, Heaven, Afterlife, Faith

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"Texan starting eternity: I never dreamed heaven would be so much like Texas. companion: Who said this was heaven?"

Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Is she special? (asks the gay waiter)' I thinks she's going to break my heart' On arrival of the girl' The flannel is fine honey,but I have'nt seen anyone that over accesorized since batman!"

Christopher Moore, American Novelist

Humor, Love, Appearance, Judgment

"Is somethin' wrong?" said Daft Wullie."Aye!" snapped the kelda. "Rob willnae tak' a drink o' Special Sheep Liniment!"Wullie's little face screwed up in instant grief."Ach, the Big Man's deid!" he sobbed. "Oh waily waily waily - "Will ye hush yer gob, ye big mudlin!" shouted Rob Anybody, standing up. "I am no' deid! I'm trying to have a moment o' existential dreed here, right? Crivens, it's a puir lookout if a man cannae feel the chilly winds o' Fate lashing aroound his nethers wi'out folks telling him he's deid, eh?"

Terry Pratchett, English Author

Humor, Truth, Happiness, Today, Power

"Modern kitchen - where the pot calls the kettle chartreuse."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

Humor, Kitchen, Home

"It's kinda hard to get yourself into a good three-toweler when you got the dick of death."

Christopher Moore, American Novelist

Humor, Struggle, Difficulty, Life

"I love poking fun at myself. I have a rather mean sense of humor."

Alton Brown, American Entertainer

Humor, Love, Fun, Sense

"So I am death' Charlie said then turned to his daughter while buttering his toast.'This is death toast sweety."

Christopher Moore, American Novelist

Humor, Death, Truth, Emotion

"Whistler,' Manet called. 'How's your mother?"

Christopher Moore, American Novelist

Humor, Conversation, Inquiry, Observation, Truth

"But to remain historically accurate, I would have had to leave out an important question that I felt needed to be addressed, which is, 'What if Jesus had known kung fu?"

Christopher Moore, American Novelist

Humor, History, Creativity, Imagination

"No matter where he went in the City, there was an odoriferous mix of food and vehicles, like the alchemic concoctions of some mad gourmet mechanic: Kung Pao Saab Turbo, Buick Skylark Carbonara, Sweet-and-Sour Metro Bus, Honda Bolognese with Burning Clutch Sauce."

Christopher Moore, American Novelist

Humor, Observation, Life, Creativity

"Baz arched an elegant brow. "Are you going to snog the Humdrum-is that your plan? Because he's eleven. And he looks just like you. That's both vain and deviant, Snow, even for you."

Rainbow Rowell, American Author

Humor, Youth, Vanity, Relationship

Explore more quotes by Anonymous

"Modern kitchen - where the pot calls the kettle chartreuse."

Humor

"We're too young to want to stop living, because after all, we shouldn't stop something we haven't even started."

Life

"Once you find your Happy space,you wouldnt be in the rat race."

Happiness

"Night when deep sleep falleth on men."

Spiritual

"Every way of a man is right in his own eyes, but the Lord pondereth the hearts."

Truth

"Once my wife gave me a wonderful birthday present. She let me win an argument."

Relationship

"His clear conscience is a result of a poor memory."

Psychology

"Productive prayer requires earnestness not eloquence."

Spiritual

"Worry never climbed a hill worry never paid a bill Worry never dried a tear worry never calmed a fear Worry never darned a heel worry never cooked a meal It never led a horse to water nor ever did a thing it "oughter.""

Wisdom

"Whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things."

Spiritual