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"Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time."
Author Name
Personal Development
"My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Campaign behavior for wives: Always be on time. Do as little talking as humanly possible. Lean back in the parade car so everybody can see the president."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Many highly intelligent people are poor thinkers. Many people of average intelligence are skilled thinkers. The power of a car is separate from the way the car is driven."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I never listen to music in the house, I listen to music in the car."
Author Name
Personal Development
"If you are a writer you locate yourself behind a wall of silence and no matter what you are doing, driving a car or walking or doing housework you can still be writing, because you have that space."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Get in the race car do what I do then go home. We don't have freedom to do anything anymore."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear."
Author Name
Personal Development
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"Hell is full of musical amateurs: music is the brandy of the damned. May not one lost soul be permitted to abstain?"
Art
"Hell is full of musical amateurs."
Hell
"Democracy is a device that insures we shall be governed no better than we deserve."
Democracy
"Statistics show that of those who contract the habit of eating, very few survive."
Habit
"Self-sacrifice enables us to sacrifice other people without blushing."
Sacrifice
"No man ever believes that the Bible means what it says: He is always convinced that it says what he means."
Bible
"We are made wise not by the recollection of our past, but by the responsibility for our future."
Future
"Very few people can afford to be poor."
People
"In heaven an angel is nobody in particular."
Heaven
"We are the only real aristocracy in the world: the aristocracy of money."
Money
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