"If men were necessary in the procreation process, they'd have gone the way of the dodo bird long ago."

Satire, Gender, Equality, Power

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"If men were necessary in the procreation process, they'd have gone the way of the dodo bird long ago."

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"Genuinity is mother of stupidity."

Vikrmn, Indian Author

Satire, Stupidity, Mother, Truth, Irony

"Fella says today, 'Depression is over. I seen a jackrabbit, an' they wasn't nobody after him.' An' another fella says, 'That aint the reason. Can't afford to kill jackrabbits no more. Catch 'em and milk 'em an' turn 'em loose. One you seen prob'ly gone dry."

John Steinbeck, American Author

Satire, Depression, Poverty, Humor, Survival

"The difficulty with humourists is that they will mix what they believe with what they don't whichever seems likelier to win an effect."

John Updike, American Novelist

Satire, Humor, Irony, Belief, Manipulation

"God created war so that Americans would learn geography."

Mark Twain, American Author

Satire, God, War, Americans, Geography

"Does your guilty past catch up so fast with your age? You've been robbing hex nuts, cap nuts, lock nuts and wing nuts. No wonder you have turned into a greedy nut."

Angelica Hopes, Swiss Author

Satire, Guilt, Crime, Irony

"Never make fun of people who are different...unless they have more money, power and influence. Then you must."

Ziad K. Abdelnour, Lebanese Author

Satire, Humor, Wealth, Power, Truth

"We're roughage," Tyger said. "If we don't cause a little intestinal distress, no one knows we're there."

Neal Shusterman, American Author

Satire, Disruption, Humor, Impact, Awareness

"He wondered reflectively what would happen if you asked a nun where the Gents was. Probably the Pope sent you a sharp note or something."

Neil Gaiman, British Author

Satire, Humor, Religion, Authority

"We are all brothers under the skin - and I, for one, would be willing to skin humanity to prove it."

Ayn Rand, Russian Writer

Satire, Brotherhood, Skin, Humanity, Sarcasm

"I will say further, as an officer of an enormous international conglomerate, that nobody who is doing well in this economy ever even wonders waht is really going on.We are chimpanzees. We are orangutans."

Kurt Vonnegut, American Author

Satire, Economy, Ignorance, Truth

Explore more quotes by Lois Greiman

"It is far better to know the painful truth than to live with a kindly falsehood."

Honesty

"When men age they're called sophisticated. When women age they ain't called at all."

Aging

"Jealousy. It's a terrible thing. Unless it's someone else's."

Envy

"In my experience, "what the hell" is generally the most interesting decision."

Risk

"Some people are street-smart, some people are book-smart, but most people are just dumber than dirt."

Intelligence

"You guys gotta get a license to drive a Geo, but any doofus with a few good swimmers can be a father."

Parenting

"I don't need no PMS. I can bitch under my own steam."

Humor

"Generally, men are superior in the areas of heavy lifting, where there's a past only by pachyderms and building cranes. Beyond that, I believe any right-thinking thinking will see that women have the indisputable advantage."

Equality

"The theory of relativity doesn't amount to a hill of beans when there's a bonfire in your shorts."

Perspective

"Marriage is like a toothbrush. It starts out smooth and gets kind of prickly towards the end."

Marriage