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"Vicodin, I got addicted to that little pill. The reason I don't talk about it too much in the press is because it isn't funny, and I love to be funny in interviews. If you joke about that period in your life, it doesn't seem right."
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"It's a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it."
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Personal Development
"The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' but 'That's funny...'"
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Personal Development
"Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh."
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Personal Development
"Stealing, you'll go far in life. Actually, there is something funny about getting away with it."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I'm doing 5000 seat theaters and audiences are going nuts, it's fantastic and it makes me very happy. I'm dirty, but not like this; I just do comedy that I find funny. I'm working on a new tv show for cable and it's not set up yet."
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Personal Development
"Movies either work or they don't work and they're either funny or they're not and we work very hard. To achieve that kind of work is really kind of delicate stitching."
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Personal Development
"But I think once the word gets out that the movie is funny - funny is transcendent - it will traverse all demographic barriers if people embrace it as a funny movie."
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Personal Development
"When something is truly funny, it's funny all the time."
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Personal Development
"It's funny because it's funny."
Author Name
Personal Development
"It's funny; I actually made poorer decisions when I sobered up then when I was screwed up."
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"The key to sitcom success is miserable people. If you see a happy couple, it's just gone, like when Sam and Diane got together on Cheers."
Success
"Vicodin, I got addicted to that little pill. The reason I don't talk about it too much in the press is because it isn't funny, and I love to be funny in interviews. If you joke about that period in your life, it doesn't seem right."
Funny
"I love the idea of "the one" but I actually believe that there isn't a Miss Right. There are 12,000 Miss Rights out there and it's all timing."
Love
"After I got my first laugh on stage, I was hooked."
First
"I've just found out there are pages on the internet dedicated to whether I'm gay or not."
Gay
"Chandler's the guy everybody thinks will do well with women, but he thinks too much and says the wrong thing."
Woman
"I can tell if someone is talking to me because I'm on "Friends" or cause they just think I'm neat. You know I don't think I've ever spent more than five or ten minutes with somebody who was ogling me because they recognized me from the show."
Cause
"The goal is to have to do the shot again because the camera guy shook a little bit as he was laughing. Without that happening, I'm not happy because there's nothing better for me than a world that everybody's just trying to make each other laugh."
Goal
"I'm a sensitive guy. If you are a woman and you're in any kind of emotional duress and you write a song about it, I'll buy you album."
Music
"If there's a silence in a room I'll try to fill it as soon as humanly possible."
Silence
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