"I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back."

Wife,

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"I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back."

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"If you would have a good wife, marry one who has been a good daughter."

Thomas Fuller, English Clergyman

Wife, Daughter

"Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same."

Oscar Wilde, Irish Dramatist

Wife,

"In Hawaii, we go to this wonderful place, all families. My wife and I go directly from breakfast to a beach chair where we read all day. My daughter goes from water to pool to running around with friends she meets, some of whom are regulars there."

Stephen Collins, American Actor

Wife, Daughter, Beach, Day

"The only thing I feel passionate about is my wife."

Donald Sutherland, Canadian Actor

Wife,

"The show can go on without me, and probably will, but I want to come back to act in Chicago. My wife and I just bought a condo downtown, and I want to do theater."

William Petersen, American Actor

Wife, Act, Chicago, Theater

"I board with a poor Scotchman: his wife can talk scarce any English."

David Brainerd, American Clergyman

Wife, English, Poor, Talk

"A man's best fortune, or his worst, is his wife."

Thomas Fuller, English Clergyman

Wife, Fortune, Man

"My wife says that my tombstone will read, 'Here lies Mr.C, who used to be Mr.B.' So I think that's probably what I'll be remembered for."

Tom Bosley, American Actor

Wife, Lies, Will

"I'm still very close friends with his first wife, Neile, who is now remarried."

Robert Vaughn, American Actor

Wife, First, Friends, Now

"A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing."

Joey Adams, American Comedian

Wife, Nothing, Questions

Explore more quotes by Henny Youngman

"If my mother knew I did this for a living, she'd kill me. She thinks I'm selling dope."

Mother

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."

Music

"This man used to go to school with his dog. Then they were separated. His dog graduated!"

Man

"You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready."

Wit

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Exlpore more Wife quotes

"If you would have a good wife, marry one who has been a good daughter."

"Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same."

"In Hawaii, we go to this wonderful place, all families. My wife and I go directly from breakfast to a beach chair where we read all day. My daughter goes from water to pool to running around with friends she meets, some of whom are regulars there."

"The only thing I feel passionate about is my wife."

"The show can go on without me, and probably will, but I want to come back to act in Chicago. My wife and I just bought a condo downtown, and I want to do theater."

"I board with a poor Scotchman: his wife can talk scarce any English."

"A man's best fortune, or his worst, is his wife."

"My wife says that my tombstone will read, 'Here lies Mr.C, who used to be Mr.B.' So I think that's probably what I'll be remembered for."

"I'm still very close friends with his first wife, Neile, who is now remarried."

"A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing."

Explore more quotes by Henny Youngman

"Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it."

"You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it."

"What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money."

"My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way."

"When God sneezed, I didn't know what to say."

"I've got all the money I'll ever need, if I die by four o'clock."

"If my mother knew I did this for a living, she'd kill me. She thinks I'm selling dope."

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."

"This man used to go to school with his dog. Then they were separated. His dog graduated!"

"You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready."