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Ralph Kiner

"Cadillacs are down at the end of the bat."

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"Cadillacs are down at the end of the bat."

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Amber Hurdle

"I've accepted the fact I have mental illness but when my imaginary friends start calling me crazy that's where I draw the line."

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Amber Hurdle

"Crap, are you thinking what I'm thinking?""I'm thinking we have about fifteen vampires and no blood," Claire said. "Is that it?""No, I was thinking we're out of chips. Of course that's what I was thinking."

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Amber Hurdle

"Got a lot of sinful idears--but they seem kinda sensible."

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Amber Hurdle

"Laughter comes later, like wisdom teeth. And laughter at yourself comes last of all in a mad race with death. And sometimes, it isn't in time."

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Amber Hurdle

"Never stay up on the barren heights of cleverness, but come down into the green valleys of silliness."

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Amber Hurdle

"I wonder what fool it was that first invented kissing."

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Amber Hurdle

"If they gave him an enema, he could be buried in a matchbox."

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Amber Hurdle

"Name the greatest of all inventors: Accident."

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Amber Hurdle

"Pessimist - one who when he has the choice of two evils chooses both."

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Amber Hurdle

"Pardon my French if you're a religious man.''I am,' Bill said, grinning.'Then get outta my cab and go to fucking church,' the cabbie said, and they both burst out laughing."

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Ralph Kiner
"If Casey Stengel were alive today, he'd be spinning in his grave."
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"You know what they say about Chicago. If you don't like the weather, wait fifteen minutes."
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Ralph Kiner
"Darryl Strawberry has been voted to the Hall of Fame five years in a row."
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Ralph Kiner
"Cadillacs are down at the end of the bat."
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