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Woody Allen

"I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam I looked into the soul of the boy next to me."

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"I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam I looked into the soul of the boy next to me."

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Asa Don Brown

"Adult librarians are like lazy bakers: their patrons want a jelly doughnut, so they give them a jelly doughnut. Children's librarians are ambitious bakers: 'You like the jelly doughnut? I'll get you a jelly doughnut. But you should try my cruller, too. My cruller is gonna blow your mind, kid."

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Asa Don Brown

"It is because the body is a machine that education is possible. Education is the formation of habits, a superinducing of an artificial organization upon the natural organization of the body."

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Asa Don Brown

"Democracy cannot succeed unless those who express their choice are prepared to choose wisely. The real safeguard of democracy, therefore, is education."

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Asa Don Brown

"Study the past if you would define the future."

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Asa Don Brown

"Read the best books first, or you may not have a chance to read them at all."

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Asa Don Brown

"The most valuable of all education is the ability to make yourself do the thing you have to do, when it has to be done, whether you like it or not."

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Asa Don Brown

"If boys would think, it would be well to give them less classwork and more opportunity for thought."

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Asa Don Brown

"Ask yourself how many people you have met who grumbled at a thing as incurable, and how many who attacked it as curable? How many people we have heard abuse the British elementary schools, as they would abuse the British climate? How few have we met who realized that British education can be altered, but British weather cannot?...For a thousand that regret compulsory education, where is the hundred, or the ten, or the one, who would repeal compulsory education? At the beginning of our epoch men talked with equal ease about Reform and Repeal. Now everybody talks about reform; nobody talks about repeal."

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Asa Don Brown

"While in Bombay, I began, on one hand, my study of Indian law and, on the other, my experiments in dietetics in which Virchand Gandhi, a friend, joined me. My brother, for his part was trying his best to get me briefs. The study of India law was a tedious business. The Civil Procedure Code I could in no way get on with. Not so however, with the Evidence Act. Virchand Gandhi was reading for the Solicitor's Examination and would tell me all sorts of stories about Barristers and Vakils."

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Asa Don Brown

"I believe that which you study is only matched in importance by the sincerity with which you approach it."

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"Having sex is like bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand."
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"I am going to give my psychoanalyst one more year then I'm going to Lourdes."
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"I believe people ought to mate for life...like pigeons or Catholics."
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"Maugham then offers the greatest advice anyone could give to a young author: "At the end of an interrogation sentence, place a question mark. You'd be surprised how effective it can be."
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"The most expensive sex is free sex."
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"When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back."
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"Showing up is 80 percent of life."
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"When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room."
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"Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have you declared legally insane in order to gain control of your estate."
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"Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing."
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