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"I love poking fun at myself. I have a rather mean sense of humor."
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"I've been on so many blind dates I should get a free dog."
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Personal Development
"Sometimes absurd logic can be amusing and heart-touching."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I think at its best the American sense of humor is the same as the British sense of humor at its best, which is to be wry and ironic and self deprecating."
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Personal Development
"Humor distorts nothing, and only false gods are laughed off their earthly pedestals."
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Personal Development
"You can turn your back on a person, but never turn your back on a drug, especially when its waving a razor sharp hunting knife in your eye."
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Personal Development
"Alimony: the cash surrender value of a husband."
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Personal Development
"I've stopped drinking, but only while I'm asleep."
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Personal Development
"Beware of giggle grins, they are highly contagious."
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Personal Development
"When I reprimanded my son for hair like Michael Jackson he said: "I don't see the problem you wear yours like Michael Jordan.""
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Personal Development
"I detest life-insurance agents: they always argue that I shall some day die, which is not so."
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"My feeling has always been that 'Good Eats' would have never happened had it been left to a committee."
Committee
"I can't talk about anything or write about anything if I don't understand it. So a lot of the stuff that I go through and a lot of the time that I spend is understanding."
Time
"My college degree was in theater. But the real reason, if I have any success in that milieu, so to speak, is because I spent a lot of years directing, I spent a lot of years behind the camera."
Success
"I like television. I still believe that television is the most powerful form of communication on Earth - I just hate what is being done with it."
Being
"Although I don't take myself very seriously, I do take my work extraordinarily seriously."
Work
"Take ice. Ice is fascinating to me. Ice is the one thing in our world that went from an agricultural product to being manufactured."
Being
"For me, it was kind of like going into the military or something. And anybody - any male - who has ever worked in a French kitchen knows what I am talking about when I say that."
Kitchen
"Enough people have now mentioned Bill Nye the Science Guy to me that I now desperately avoid it all costs."
Science
"A lot of food shows need only to tempt. Some food shows only need to inspire, to empower. And there are a lot of shows that do that."
Food
"I love poking fun at myself. I have a rather mean sense of humor."
Humor
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