"My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend."

Mother, Friend

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"My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend."

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"A mother is the most important blessing of your life."

Debasish Mridha, American Author

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"Necessity, the mother of invention."

George Farquhar, Irish Dramatist

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"My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one."

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"A boy is not free to find a partner of his own as long as he must be the partner to his mother."

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"When I was eight years old I went to visit my brother who was working on a movie of the week with my mother and I saw how much fun he was having and I decided I wanted to try it too."

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"My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee."

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"My father and mother - I figured if I could make them laugh, they'd stop fighting. I stole all their material."

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Explore more quotes by Rodney Dangerfield

"I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her."

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"Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask. Each time an actor acts he does not hide; he exposes himself."

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"One year they asked me to be poster boy - for birth control."

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"Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, knowing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about."

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"It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass."

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"I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof."

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"My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was."

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"I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet."

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"My wife was afraid of the dark... then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light."

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"My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home."

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