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"My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend."
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"I was encouraged by my mother and, to a lesser extent, by my father."

"Madlen came to sit beside her on the bed. "Lady Queen," she said with her own particular brand of rough gentleness. "It is not the job of the child to protect her mother. It's the mother's job to protect the child. By allowing your mother to protect you, you gave her a gift. Do you understand me?"

"My mother had lots and lots of children who didn't survive."
Explore more quotes by Rodney Dangerfield


"Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, knowing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about."


"My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was."


"We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations - we're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together."


"I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof."
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