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Rodney Dangerfield

"My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend."

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"My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend."

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Asa Don Brown

"The longest tenured First LOVE and Greatest TEACHER, in-fact life long, is none the other, but Mother."

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"People who lost their mother should be careful about committing crime, because probably no one else is praying to save you."

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"Few misfortunes can befall a boy which bring worse consequence than to have a really affectionate mother."

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"The babe at first feeds upon the mother's bosom, but it is always on her heart."

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Asa Don Brown

"A mother's love is more beautiful than any fresh flower."

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"A mother is the most important blessing of your life."

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Asa Don Brown

"That was his mother. When she wasn't crying over the breakfast cereal, she was laughing about killing herself."

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Asa Don Brown

"Being a mother gives you an incredible feeling of empowerment, you think if I can go through such pain and that level of sleep and still operate and not be grumpy you can do anything. It can be quite scary, you can't function your brain, forget your vocabulary."

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Asa Don Brown

"I wanted to become a kindergarten teacher like my mother."

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Asa Don Brown

"I'm more of a guy's girl. I like having a beer in a bar, and I don't bicker or sit down and do my nails. But I have two sisters and a mother, and we're Latin, so we gossip."

Explore more quotes by Rodney Dangerfield

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Rodney Dangerfield
"Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, knowing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about."
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Rodney Dangerfield
"I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet."
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Rodney Dangerfield
"The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest."
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Rodney Dangerfield
"What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and he told me about the butcher and my wife."
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Rodney Dangerfield
"I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people."
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Rodney Dangerfield
"It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass."
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Rodney Dangerfield
"I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio."
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Rodney Dangerfield
"I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table."
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Rodney Dangerfield
"My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too."
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Rodney Dangerfield
"I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot."
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