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Johnny Carson

"For days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow, but phone calls taper off."

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"For days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow, but phone calls taper off."

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A.E. Samaan

"A belief in hell and the knowledge that every ambition is doomed to frustration at the hands of a skeleton have never prevented the majority of human beings from behaving as though death were no more than an unfounded rumor."

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A.E. Samaan

"You are whatever you shall leave behind when you leave life!"

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A.E. Samaan

"If I die prematurely I shall be saved from being bored to death at my own success."

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A.E. Samaan

"It's harder to pick and choose when you're dead. It's like a photograph, you know. It doesn't matter as much."

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A.E. Samaan

"Fair... You'd be amazed how often I hear that word, Frank Zhang,and how meaningless it is. Is it fair your life will burn so short and bright? Was it fair when I guided your mother to the Underworld? No, not fair. And yet it was her time. There is no fairness in Death. If you free me, I will do my duty."

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A.E. Samaan

"The history of the world is the record of the weakness, frailty and death of public opinion."

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A.E. Samaan

"The "kingdom of Heaven" is a condition of the heart - not something that comes "upon the earth" or "after death.""

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A.E. Samaan

"Achieving life is not the equivalent of avoiding death."

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A.E. Samaan

"A premature death does not only rob one of the countless instances where one would have experienced pleasure, it also saves one from the innumerable instances where one would have experienced pain."

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A.E. Samaan

"To be closed as a person, it's not bad if you know that when this two rules, playing by your rules doesn't mean that you won't end up in jail, security why?We both know that everyone dies... it really doesn't matter who is first... in the end all die!"

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"People will pay more to be entertained than educated."
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"Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill."
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"I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself."
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Johnny Carson
"New York is an exciting town where something is happening all the time, most unsolved."
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Johnny Carson
"Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do."
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Johnny Carson
"If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead."
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"We're more effective than birth control pills."
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Johnny Carson
"For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off."
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Johnny Carson
"If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead."
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Johnny Carson
"Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die."
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