"Yeah, Mom, I'll just keep telling the prince that he has absolutely no shot with me and offend him as often as I can. Great plan."

Humor, Strategy, Communication, Observation

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"Yeah, Mom, I'll just keep telling the prince that he has absolutely no shot with me and offend him as often as I can. Great plan."

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"I've accepted the fact I have mental illness but when my imaginary friends start calling me crazy that's where I draw the line."

Stanley Victor Paskavich, American Politician

Humor, Mental, Friend, Imagination

"Crap, are you thinking what I'm thinking?""I'm thinking we have about fifteen vampires and no blood," Claire said. "Is that it?""No, I was thinking we're out of chips. Of course that's what I was thinking."

Rachel Caine, Canadian Actress

Humor, Blood, Survival, Friendship

"Got a lot of sinful idears--but they seem kinda sensible."

John Steinbeck, American Author

Humor, Sin, Idea, Truth

"Laughter comes later, like wisdom teeth. And laughter at yourself comes last of all in a mad race with death. And sometimes, it isn't in time."

John Steinbeck, American Author

Humor, Laughter, Wisdom, Mortality

"Never stay up on the barren heights of cleverness, but come down into the green valleys of silliness."

Ludwig Wittgenstein, Austrian Philosopher

Humor, Cleverness

"I wonder what fool it was that first invented kissing."

Jonathan Swift, Irish Writer

Humor, First, Fool, Kissing, Wonder

"If they gave him an enema, he could be buried in a matchbox."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

Humor, Death, Sarcasm, Mortality

"Name the greatest of all inventors: Accident."

Mark Twain, American Author

Humor, Accident, Creativity, Surprise

"Pessimist - one who when he has the choice of two evils chooses both."

Oscar Wilde, Irish Dramatist

Humor, Pessimism, Evil, Choice, Irony

"Pardon my French if you're a religious man.''I am,' Bill said, grinning.'Then get outta my cab and go to fucking church,' the cabbie said, and they both burst out laughing."

Stephen King, American Author

Humor, Faith, Truth, Wisdom

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"How can the truth make anything worse?"

Philosophy

"If you don't want me to be in love with you, you're going to have to stop looking so lovely. First thing tomorrow I'm having your maids sew some potato sacks together for you."

Relationship

"Eventually you will find something to put that energy into and you will be unstoppable. Even now with something you take no joy in, you do your task dutifuly, because it's all you can do. There's something beautiful in that, Collin."

Determination

"I sense that you won't let the world push you into a life you don't want. Maybe I'm wrong so let me at least say this: Fight, America. You might not want to fight for the things that most others would fight for, like money or notoriety, but fight all the same. Whatever it is that you want, America, go after it with all that you have in you. If you can keep from letting fear make you settle for second best, then I can't ask for anything more from you. Live your life. Be as happy as you can be, let go of the things that don't matter, and fight."

Motivation

"Luck was fine and well, but I didn't need it. I had a plan."

Success

"Well, the one thing I've thought about is having dad give me away. You know when he takes your hand and he puts it in the hand of the person you marry? That's the only part I've ever wanted."

Relationship

"You've changed me forever. And I'll never forget you."

Relationship

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Exlpore more Humor quotes

"I've accepted the fact I have mental illness but when my imaginary friends start calling me crazy that's where I draw the line."

"Crap, are you thinking what I'm thinking?""I'm thinking we have about fifteen vampires and no blood," Claire said. "Is that it?""No, I was thinking we're out of chips. Of course that's what I was thinking."

"Got a lot of sinful idears--but they seem kinda sensible."

"Laughter comes later, like wisdom teeth. And laughter at yourself comes last of all in a mad race with death. And sometimes, it isn't in time."

"Never stay up on the barren heights of cleverness, but come down into the green valleys of silliness."

"I wonder what fool it was that first invented kissing."

"If they gave him an enema, he could be buried in a matchbox."

"Name the greatest of all inventors: Accident."

"Pessimist - one who when he has the choice of two evils chooses both."

"Pardon my French if you're a religious man.''I am,' Bill said, grinning.'Then get outta my cab and go to fucking church,' the cabbie said, and they both burst out laughing."

Explore more quotes by Kiera Cass

"How can the truth make anything worse?"

"If you don't want me to be in love with you, you're going to have to stop looking so lovely. First thing tomorrow I'm having your maids sew some potato sacks together for you."

"Eventually you will find something to put that energy into and you will be unstoppable. Even now with something you take no joy in, you do your task dutifuly, because it's all you can do. There's something beautiful in that, Collin."

"Great. Now the queen thought I was a misfit, too."

"Bravery hides in amazing places."

"Something about being that close to him all the time made my bones feel weak."

"Luck was fine and well, but I didn't need it. I had a plan."

"Well, the one thing I've thought about is having dad give me away. You know when he takes your hand and he puts it in the hand of the person you marry? That's the only part I've ever wanted."

"You've changed me forever. And I'll never forget you."