"Don't blame me. Tell your mom to move closer. Tell her there's this new club called civilization and you guys should join."

Satire, Civilization, Sarcasm, Critique, Humor

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"Don't blame me. Tell your mom to move closer. Tell her there's this new club called civilization and you guys should join."

Exlpore more Satire quotes

"Fella says today, 'Depression is over. I seen a jackrabbit, an' they wasn't nobody after him.' An' another fella says, 'That aint the reason. Can't afford to kill jackrabbits no more. Catch 'em and milk 'em an' turn 'em loose. One you seen prob'ly gone dry."

John Steinbeck, American Author

Satire, Depression, Poverty, Humor, Survival

"Does your guilty past catch up so fast with your age? You've been robbing hex nuts, cap nuts, lock nuts and wing nuts. No wonder you have turned into a greedy nut."

Angelica Hopes, Swiss Author

Satire, Guilt, Crime, Irony

"Lebanese freedom of speech : You get to say whatever you like as long as the authorities approve of it... Hilarious."

Ziad K. Abdelnour, Lebanese Author

Satire, Freedom, Speech, Authority, Irony

"Mr. McGregor's a nasty piece of work, isn't he? Quite the Darth Vader of children's literature."

Jasper Fforde, British Novelist

Satire, Humor, Literature, Irony

"Politics has got so expensive that it takes lots of money to even get beat with."

Will Rogers, American Actor

Satire, Politics, Money, Irony, Corruption

"Silena appeared out of the woods, her sword drawn. Her Aphrodite armour was pink and red, colour coordinated to match her clothes and makeup. She looked like Guerilla Warfare Barbie."

Rick Riordan, American Novelist

Satire, Power, Happiness, Truth, Wisdom

"If God were good, why would he create Rush Limbaugh?"

Sherman Alexie, American Writer

Satire, Religion, Humor, Provocation

"How many kids are in the Graveyard?""A bunch.""Who sends your supplies?""George Washington. Or is it Abraham Lincoln? I forget.""How often do you receive new arrivals?""About as often as you beat your wife."

Neal Shusterman, American Author

Satire, Violence, Dialogue, Irony

"The god's chosen beverage. Tremble before the horror of Diet Coke!"

Rick Riordan, American Novelist

Satire, Humor, Truth, Life, Happiness

"I had never before been a special fan of that great comedian Phyllis Diller, but she utterly won my heart this week by sending me an envelope that, when opened, contained a torn-off square of brown-bag paper of the kind suitable for latrine duty in an ill-run correctional facility. Duly unfurled, it carried a handwritten salutation reading as follows:Money's scarceTimes are hardHere's your f******I could not possibly improve on the sentiment, but I don't think it ought to depend on the current austerities. Isn't Christmas a moral and aesthetic nightmare whether or not the days are prosperous?"

Christopher Hitchens, American Author

Satire, Humor, Reality, Morality

Explore more quotes by Becca Fitzpatrick

"Quit calling me Grey. It makes me sound like I'm a boy. Like Dorian Gray.'Dorian who?I sighed. 'Just think up something else. Plain old Nora works too, you know.'Sure thing, Gumdrop.I grimaced. 'I take that back. Let's stick with Grey."

Identity

"I could get you to smile like that, and without sales tax.' I whirled around to find the real Patch standing in the fitting room behind me. He was wearing jeans and a snug white tee. His arms were folded loosely over his chest, and his black eyes smiled down at me. Heat that wasn't entirely uncomfortable flushed through my body. 'I could make all kinds of pervert jokes right now,' I quipped."

Romance

"I like having you around, Britt. That's the truth. I'm not leaving you. Even if you were a pain in the butt, I'd stay with you. It's the right thing to do. But it turns out I find you likable and interesting, and while I'm not glad you have to go through this, I'm glad we have each other."

Friendship

"And here I thought they were called Peeping Toms.' I didn't need to see him to know he wore a smile. 'Stop laughing,' I said, my cheeks hot with humiliation. 'Get me down.''Jump.''What?''I'll catch you.''Are you crazy? Go inside and open the window. Or get a ladder.''I don't need a ladder. Jump. I'm not going to drop you."

Humor

"Patch tipped my chin up. 'If I could make this go away, I would. If I could stand in your place, I wouldn't hesitate. But I'm left with one choice, and that's to stand by your side through the end. I won't waver, Angel, I can promise you that."

Devotion

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Exlpore more Satire quotes

"Fella says today, 'Depression is over. I seen a jackrabbit, an' they wasn't nobody after him.' An' another fella says, 'That aint the reason. Can't afford to kill jackrabbits no more. Catch 'em and milk 'em an' turn 'em loose. One you seen prob'ly gone dry."

"Does your guilty past catch up so fast with your age? You've been robbing hex nuts, cap nuts, lock nuts and wing nuts. No wonder you have turned into a greedy nut."

"Lebanese freedom of speech : You get to say whatever you like as long as the authorities approve of it... Hilarious."

"Mr. McGregor's a nasty piece of work, isn't he? Quite the Darth Vader of children's literature."

"Politics has got so expensive that it takes lots of money to even get beat with."

"Silena appeared out of the woods, her sword drawn. Her Aphrodite armour was pink and red, colour coordinated to match her clothes and makeup. She looked like Guerilla Warfare Barbie."

"If God were good, why would he create Rush Limbaugh?"

"How many kids are in the Graveyard?""A bunch.""Who sends your supplies?""George Washington. Or is it Abraham Lincoln? I forget.""How often do you receive new arrivals?""About as often as you beat your wife."

"The god's chosen beverage. Tremble before the horror of Diet Coke!"

Explore more quotes by Becca Fitzpatrick

"Quit calling me Grey. It makes me sound like I'm a boy. Like Dorian Gray.'Dorian who?I sighed. 'Just think up something else. Plain old Nora works too, you know.'Sure thing, Gumdrop.I grimaced. 'I take that back. Let's stick with Grey."

"I like having you around, Britt. That's the truth. I'm not leaving you. Even if you were a pain in the butt, I'd stay with you. It's the right thing to do. But it turns out I find you likable and interesting, and while I'm not glad you have to go through this, I'm glad we have each other."

"Say 'provoking' again. Your mouth looks provocative when you do."

"We all know you're beautiful, Scott."

"I gave up something I wanted for something I need. And I need you, Angel."

"Scared, Angel?"

"I'm doing boy detox. Like a diet, only for my emotional health."

"Patch tipped my chin up. 'If I could make this go away, I would. If I could stand in your place, I wouldn't hesitate. But I'm left with one choice, and that's to stand by your side through the end. I won't waver, Angel, I can promise you that."