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"Don't blame me. Tell your mom to move closer. Tell her there's this new club called civilization and you guys should join."
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Exlpore more Satire quotes
"Prices of semicolons, plot devices, prologues and inciting incidents continued to fall yesterday, lopping twenty points off the TomJones Index."
"There's nothing as useful as the truth, in terms of ruining anyone's day, week, month, year, decade, or life Unless, of course, you own a remotely operated automatic flamethrower-drone-tower and have some marinated pork-chops on your person, to lure unsuspecting dogs in close proximity to it, but since dogs don't really have lives - by using this specific method of torture, you can only improve the remaining few seconds of their existence."
"As you know, the International Poker Tour, by its own admission, knows very little about poker games, one of which ended tragically last week when an IPT-sanctioned tournament aboard a yacht in Australia accidentally used tarot cards instead of playing cards. That's right, it's true! Apparently no one noticed until someone laid down a full house and the dealer died."
"We're roughage," Tyger said. "If we don't cause a little intestinal distress, no one knows we're there."
"You're still here. No beer. I'm not corrupting a minor." a minor," she pointed out. "At least for beer.""Yeah, and by the way, how much does it suck that I'm an adult if I kill somebody, and I'm not if I want a beer?"
"The difficulty with humourists is that they will mix what they believe with what they don't whichever seems likelier to win an effect."
"U.S. News Organizations observe the anniversary of September 11 with investigations about the nation's continuing vulnerability to terrorism. First, the New York Daily News reports that two of its reporters carried box cutters, razor knives, and pepper spray on fourteen commercial flights without getting caught. Then ABC News reports that it smuggled fifteen pounds of uranium into New York City. Then Fox News reports that it flew Osama bin Laden to Washington, D.C., and videotaped him touring the White House."
Explore more quotes by Becca Fitzpatrick
"I believe in destiny Angel. I believe every choice I've made has brought me closer to you. I looked for you for a very long time. I may have fallen from heaven, but I fell for you."
"What does 'hmm' have to do with anything? Could you ever use more than five words? All this grunting and minced words make you come across-primal.His smile tipped higher. 'Primal.'You're impossible.'Me Jev, you Nora."
"I tilted my chin up a fraction. 'You can't f-force me to stay here.' I'd only agreed to come this far because I didn't want to stand out in the downpour, for one, and I had high hopes of finding a phone, for two. 'That sounded more like a question than a statement,' said Patch. 'Then ans-s-swer it.'His rogue smile crept out. 'It's hard to concentrate on answers with you looking like that.'I glanced down at Patch's black shirt, wet and clinging to my body. I brushed past him and shut the bathroom door between us."
"Tacos.''Tacos?' I echoed.This seemed to amuse him. 'Tomatoes, lettuce, cheese.''I know what a taco is!"
"You're mine, Angel, and don't you forget it. Your fights are my fights. What if something bad had happened today? It was bad enough when I thought your ghost was haunting me; I don't think I can handle the real thing."
"Any happiness, no matter how brief, seemed better than the long, simmering torture of waking up day after day, knowing I could never have him."
"You don't happen to have a thousand dollars I can borrow?' 'I don't have five you can borrow. My piggy bank is officialy anorexic."
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