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"Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats."
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"Marriage is a sacred-commitment."

"A woman dictates before marriage in order that she may have an appetite for submission afterwards."

"We are all connected in spirit, in love and in faith."

"Parent greatest gift to their children is their bond of love."

"It was too perfect to last,' so I am tempted to say of our marriage. But it can be meant in two ways. It may be grimly pessimistic - as if God no sooner saw two of His creatures happy than He stopped it ('None of that here!'). As if He were like the Hostess at the sherry-party who separates two guests the moment they show signs of having got into a real conversation. But it could also mean 'This had reached its proper perfection. This had become what it had in it to be. Therefore of course it would not be prolonged.' As if God said, 'Good; you have mastered that exercise. I am very pleased with it. And now you are ready to go on to the next."

"Those who don't care about the positive side of you, are too dangerous to have on your side."

"They said, "You'll never find someone like me again!" I thanked them for wishing me well."

"In some cases, it is the woman's stomach-not her heart-that has left her man for another."

"Try not to be the kind of friend who only makes friends when in desperate need of financial help."

"The key to every human heart is love."
Explore more quotes by Woody Allen

"Having sex is like bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand."

"I believe people ought to mate for life...like pigeons or Catholics."

"Maugham then offers the greatest advice anyone could give to a young author: "At the end of an interrogation sentence, place a question mark. You'd be surprised how effective it can be."

"Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have you declared legally insane in order to gain control of your estate."
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