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"Did you know that the United States is ranked fiftieth in the world in life expectancy? And the forty-nine loser countries where they live longer than us...they live shackled to the tyranny of nonprofit health care. Here in America, you're not coughing up blood, little Bobby, you're coughing up freedom!"
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"I have never been as alive or awake as I have been through Jiu Jitsu."

"Like chocolate, she craved sleep and it made her life brighter, but she could do without."

"Whenever you read a cancer booklet or website or whatever, they always list depression among the side effects of cancer. But, in fact, depression is not a side effect of cancer. Depression is a side effect of dying."

"I'd like to lose enough weight so that my bones creaked louder than the floor."

"Seven hundred thousand people who have dementia in this country are not heard. I'm fortunate; I can be heard. Regrettably, it's amazing how people listen if you stand up in public and give away $1 million for research into the disease, as I have done."

"The summit of Mauna Kea should never have been developed as it is not safe for humans up there. I am now locked into an endless loop of doctors visits for what appears to be classic very high altitude heart, lung & brain damage because I was unfortunate enough to have worked there."

"USA schools know that computer electromagnetic interference (EMI) emissions, WiFi and campus cell towers are radiation poisoning the children and the government is determined to keep on doing it."

"I am not a fan of sealed up sterile homes or Faraday cages and their use in human health, although I do understand that some people do feel relief in these environments."
Explore more quotes by Bill Maher

"I never thought I'd say this, what Obama needs in his personality is a little George Bush."

"The Clinton White House today said they would start to give national security and intelligence briefings to George Bush. I don't know how well this is working out. Today after the first one Bush said, 'I've got one question: What color is the red phone?'"
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