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Bill Maher

"Did you know that the United States is ranked fiftieth in the world in life expectancy? And the forty-nine loser countries where they live longer than us...they live shackled to the tyranny of nonprofit health care. Here in America, you're not coughing up blood, little Bobby, you're coughing up freedom!"

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"Did you know that the United States is ranked fiftieth in the world in life expectancy? And the forty-nine loser countries where they live longer than us...they live shackled to the tyranny of nonprofit health care. Here in America, you're not coughing up blood, little Bobby, you're coughing up freedom!"

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Asa Don Brown

"The summit of Mauna Kea should never have been developed as it is not safe for humans up there. I am now locked into an endless loop of doctors visits for what appears to be classic very high altitude heart, lung & brain damage because I was unfortunate enough to have worked there."

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"I never thought I'd say this, what Obama needs in his personality is a little George Bush."
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"I think flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative. I think religion is a neurological disorder."
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"Whenever the people are for gay marriage or medical marijuana or assisted suicide, suddenly the "will of the people" goes out the window."
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"To me a real patriot is like a real friend. Who's your real friend? It's the person who tells you the truth. That's who my real friends are. So, you know, I think as far as our country goes, we need more people who will do that."
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"They're talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place that's used by ten or more people in a week, which, I guess, means that Madonna can't even smoke in bed."
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"Things aren't right. If a burglar breaks into your home and you shoot him, he can sue you. For what, restraint of trade?"
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"Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease."
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"The Clinton White House today said they would start to give national security and intelligence briefings to George Bush. I don't know how well this is working out. Today after the first one Bush said, 'I've got one question: What color is the red phone?'"
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"Let's make a law that gay people can have birthdays, but straight people get more cake - you know, to send the right message to kids."
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"Let's face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?"
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