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Exlpore more Satire quotes
"There's nothing as useful as the truth, in terms of ruining anyone's day, week, month, year, decade, or life Unless, of course, you own a remotely operated automatic flamethrower-drone-tower and have some marinated pork-chops on your person, to lure unsuspecting dogs in close proximity to it, but since dogs don't really have lives - by using this specific method of torture, you can only improve the remaining few seconds of their existence."
"As you know, the International Poker Tour, by its own admission, knows very little about poker games, one of which ended tragically last week when an IPT-sanctioned tournament aboard a yacht in Australia accidentally used tarot cards instead of playing cards. That's right, it's true! Apparently no one noticed until someone laid down a full house and the dealer died."
"We're roughage," Tyger said. "If we don't cause a little intestinal distress, no one knows we're there."
"You're still here. No beer. I'm not corrupting a minor." a minor," she pointed out. "At least for beer.""Yeah, and by the way, how much does it suck that I'm an adult if I kill somebody, and I'm not if I want a beer?"
"The difficulty with humourists is that they will mix what they believe with what they don't whichever seems likelier to win an effect."
"U.S. News Organizations observe the anniversary of September 11 with investigations about the nation's continuing vulnerability to terrorism. First, the New York Daily News reports that two of its reporters carried box cutters, razor knives, and pepper spray on fourteen commercial flights without getting caught. Then ABC News reports that it smuggled fifteen pounds of uranium into New York City. Then Fox News reports that it flew Osama bin Laden to Washington, D.C., and videotaped him touring the White House."
"Mr. McGregor's a nasty piece of work, isn't he? Quite the Darth Vader of children's literature."
Explore more quotes by Wayne Gerard Trotman
"A true master will not deceive an able disciple. You are hampered by the limits you set and no limit can be set on skill."
"I've decided I don't like books that end with 'The End'. The fact that there are no more pages, suggests to me that the book has ended."
"I see you have returned, my love; and your mood is as dark as ever. Did your soldiers not adore you to your complete satisfaction?"
"Not all people are 'people', some are more and some are less. But only those who listen intently with their hearts will recognise them for what they are."
"The sad truth about bigotry is that most bigots either don't realize that they are bigots, or they convince themselves that their bigotry is perfectly justified."
"Not being impressed by anyone or anything is one of the surest paths to a life of mediocrity."
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