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"I hear they're all infected with chlamydia, which just goes to show that you really can't tell who's got the clam. I mean, look at a picture of a koala, tell me you're not shocked."
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Exlpore more Animals quotes
"Human beings are the only animals of which I am thoroughly and cravenly afraid."
"It is inexcusable for scientists to torture animals; let them make their experiments on journalists and politicians."
"Research has shown that a barren environment is much more damaging to baby animals than it is to adult animals. It does not hurt the adult animals the same way it damages babies."
"When it comes to wilderness animals we have to make an effort to preserve what areas we can that they can be themselves in. Its come to a point though, clearly, where some species have to be cared for by humans if they are not going to disappear altogether."
"I couldn't watch Tom and Jerry. The cruelty was too much. I had all these strange images, of tiny animals, all mixed up."
"If I could stomach the awful part of being a veterinarian, which involves sticking your hand up animals' behinds, I would be a vet."
"The dog commends himself to our favor by affording play to our propensity for mastery."
"Because animals are property, we consider as "humane treatment" that we would regard as torture if it were inflicted on humans."
Explore more quotes by Elle Lothlorien
"Turns out rolling your eyes in a bar when 'Land Down Under' plays is like someone belching during the Star Spangled Banner in America."
"So, while we're sitting here on this luxury yacht enjoying our bread and water, why doesn't someone tell me the plan?"
"How was I supposed to know 'lucked out' means 'I got screwed over' in Australian?"
"I believe the phrase you're looking for is 'too much money and not enough things to spend it on."
"I like it because when people use a lot of poker lingo, it usually means they've been playing the game for a while. Which is why I immediately avoid those people."
"Now see, if it were me, I wouldn't have led with that. I would've gone with something like 'G'day' or 'Wow, aren't you a little hottie?"
"Once the principals in their party are seated, with those lower on the totem pole left to grumble and move on to find another table, our once-cozy booth transforms into a damp fusion of vacuous wretchedness, with the three women all complaining alternately about their wet hair/clothes and their respective distance from Talon, while the man himself is trying to maneuver his Paul Bunyan frame way too close to me."
"Let's put it this way: you know how we always told you that all those years of tormenting four sisters turned you into a closet sadist? Well, if you ever decide that being a lawyer isn't bringing you the kind of gratification you were hoping for, then I think I found the perfect job for you."
"Yeah, that's exactly how I feel when I'm around you: confused, but still satisfied.' I freeze, trying to figure out how to cancel it out and replace it with something that sounds a whole lot less like sex and a candy bar ad."
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