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Steven Wright

"Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died."

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"Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died."

Explore more quotes by Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
"I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving."
Car,
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Steven Wright
"My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant."
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Steven Wright
"I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to it."
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Steven Wright
"The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing."
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Steven Wright
"I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car."
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Steven Wright
"A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths."
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Steven Wright
"There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators."
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Steven Wright
"Ever notice how irons have a setting for permanent press? I don't get it."
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Steven Wright
"I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to the side."
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Steven Wright
"I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose."

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Aberjhani

"The people who are absent are the ideal; those who are present seem to be quite commonplace."

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Aberjhani

"People can have many different kinds of pleasure. The real one is that for which they will forsake the others."

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Aberjhani

"Often people display a curious respect for a man drunk, rather like the respect of simple races for the insane... There is something awe-inspiring in one who has lost all inhibitions."

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Aberjhani

"The last resort of kings, the cannonball. The last resort of the people, the paving stone."

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Aberjhani

"It is not true that people are naturally equal for no two people can be together for even a half an hour without one acquiring an evident superiority over the other."

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Aberjhani

"Other people's beliefs may be myths, but not mine."

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Aberjhani

"There are bad people who would be less dangerous if they were quite devoid of goodness."

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Aberjhani

"Whatever good things people say of us, they tell us nothing new."

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Aberjhani

"I do not want people to be very agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them a great deal."

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Aberjhani

"We don't get to know people when they come to us; we must go to them to find out what they are like."

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