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Explore more quotes by Steven Wright

"I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving."
Car,

"My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant."

"The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing."
Exlpore more People quotes

"The people who are absent are the ideal; those who are present seem to be quite commonplace."

"The last resort of kings, the cannonball. The last resort of the people, the paving stone."

"It is not true that people are naturally equal for no two people can be together for even a half an hour without one acquiring an evident superiority over the other."

"There are bad people who would be less dangerous if they were quite devoid of goodness."

"Whatever good things people say of us, they tell us nothing new."

"We don't get to know people when they come to us; we must go to them to find out what they are like."
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