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"Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch."
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"I invented the psychological histories and the relationship between Jack and Susan Stanton. I didn't know anything about the Clintons. I don't know more about the Clintons' marriage than you do."
"There were times after my marriage ended where, you know, I really felt like I was at the bottom of a mountain, there was a great big, fog up there, and I'm never going to cross to the other side."
"Maybe the difference between first marriage and second marriage is that the second time at least you know you are gambling."
"There is, hidden or flaunted, a sword between the sexes till an entire marriage reconciles them."
"Successful marriage hinges on the application of knowledge - knowing and understanding God's principles not the exchange of love.. Brother you can be in love all you want but that doesn't make the woman the right person. Same with ladues, you can be head over heels with him but that doesn't make him the right husband.In all your getting, get knowledge and understanding."
"Marriage, a market which has nothing free but the entrance."
Explore more quotes by Dennis Miller
"You know there is a problem with the education system when you realize that out of the 3 R's only one begins with an R."
"President Bush gave his first-ever presidential radio address in both English and Spanish. Reaction was mixed, however, as people were trying to figure out which one was which."
"Parenting is the most important job on the planet next to keeping Gary Busey off the nation's highways."
"What's so touching is the way we fight the war right until the moment our business is taken care of and then we turn on a dime and we immediately start taking care of people. It's like a shock and aw shucks campaign."
"Just put down 9/11... I think, on most things I'm liberal, except on defending ourselves and keeping half the money. Those things I'm kind of conservative on."
"It's ironic that in our culture everyone's biggest complaint is about not having enough time; yet nothing terrifies us more than the thought of eternity."
"Never ever discount the idea of marriage. Sure, someone might tell you that marriage is just a piece of paper. Well, so is money, and what's more life-affirming than cold, hard cash?"
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