"If per capita was a problem, decapita could be arranged."

Satire, Humor, Violence, Justice, Government

12

Create Your Own Wallpaper

Standard

Customized

"If per capita was a problem, decapita could be arranged."

Exlpore more Satire quotes

"I don't want to see him alone. He says things that annoy me. He gives me good advice."

Oscar Wilde, Irish Dramatist

Satire, Advice, Alone, Truth, Irony

"He [Old Mr. Turveydrop] was a fat old gentleman with a false complexion, false teeth, false whiskers, and a wig. He had a fur collar, and he had a padded breast to his coat, which only wanted a star or a broad blue ribbon to be complete. He was pinched in, and swelled out, and got up, and strapped down, as much as he could possibly bear."

Charles Dickens, English Novelist

Satire, Appearance, Deception, Humor, Character

"On the Kite, the situation was being 'workshopped'. This is the means by which people who don't know anything get together to pool their ignorance."

Terry Pratchett, English Author

Satire, Ignorance, Truth, Idea, Action

"Or he'd watch the news: more plagues, more famines, more floods, more insect or microbe or small-mammal outbreaks, more droughts, more chickenshit boy-soldier wars in distant countries. Why was everything so much like itself?"

Margaret Atwood, Canadian Novelist

Satire, News, Despair, Disaster, War

"I think that we may safely trust a good deal more than we do."

Henry David Thoreau, American Author

Satire, Morality, Animals, Lesson, Story

"What are American dry-goods? asked the duchess, raising her large hands in wonder and accentuating the verb.American novels, answered Lord Henry."

Oscar Wilde, Irish Dramatist

Satire, America, Irony, Culture, Truth

"We are all brothers under the skin - and I, for one, would be willing to skin humanity to prove it."

Ayn Rand, Russian Writer

Satire, Brotherhood, Skin, Humanity, Sarcasm

"Did I see them waving?' said Mrs Liberty'And particling, I shouldn't wonder' said the Alderman."

Terry Pratchett, English Author

Satire, Truth, Today, Regret, Life

"The troops and their ladies had first drunk champagne. There were also remains of sandwiches, and I stepped on one, which I think was either cucumber or watercress. I scraped it off on the curbing, left it there for germs. I'll tell you this, though: No germ is going to leave the Solar System eating sissy stuff like that.Plutonium! Now there's the stuff to put hair on a microbe's chest."

Kurt Vonnegut, American Author

Satire, Food, Humor, Future, Science

"Satire is a lesson, parody is a game."

Vladimir Nabokov, American Novelist

Satire,

Explore more quotes by Terry Pratchett

"The public thinks big, sensible, measured thoughts while people run around doing silly things."

Society, Power, Truth, Wisdom, Life

"But you can't just leave it at that!" said Anathema, pushing forward. "Think of all things you could do! Good things."Like what?" said Adam suspiciously."Well... you could bring all the whales back, to start with."He put his head on one side. "An' that'd stop people killing them?"She hesitated. It would have been nice to say yes."An' if people do start killing 'em, what would you ask me to do about 'em?" said Adam. "No. I reckon I'm getting the hang of this now. Once I start messing around like that, there'd be no stoppin' it. Seems to me, the only sensible thing is for people to know if they kill a whale, they've got a dead whale."

Ethics, Environment, Morality, Responsibility, Power

"The intelligence of the creature known as a crowd, is the square root of the number of people in it."

Wisdom, Intelligence, People

"The sun rose slowly, as if it wasn't sure it was worth all the effort."

Nature, Sun, Morning, Effort, Laziness

"Anyway, it's like with bikes,' said the first speaker authoritatively. 'I thought I was going to get this bike with seven gears and one of them razorblade saddles and purple paint and everything, and they gave me this light blue one. With a basket. A girl's bike.''Well. You're a girl,' said one of the others.'That's sexism, that is. Going around giving people girly presents just because they're a girl."

Change, Regret, Power, Happiness, Truth

"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."

Humor, Weight, Warning, Technology

"One cannot help feeling that some alternative occupation-lettuce farming, say-would offer somewhat less of a risk of being put to death by installments. Why do you persist in it?Goldeneyes Dactylos shrugged."I'm good at it, he said."

Purpose, Danger, Skill, Persistence, Death

"Writing is the most fun you can have by yourself."

Writing, Fun

"On the Disc, the Gods aren't so much worshipped, as they are blamed."

Religion, Truth, Blame, Wisdom, Power

"I believe the term is 'eminent domain.'Ah, yes. That means 'theft by the government."

Politics, Law, Theft, Government, Truth