"No one escapes some degree of chaos for it is so ever prevalent; it is the human experience. This realization does not mean we can't improve. It does mean we can accept our state of chaos, lighten up on ourselves, have fun, and work on improving we are a work in progress. Enjoy the journey."

"Life is a learning experience and this is a very peaceful method of accepting the reality you face. What will I learn?"

"Children naturally believe without question and absorb knowledge at an incredible rate; since there is no other frame of reference; they believe their parental reality, true or false."

"When I learned about the gray existing between the black and white of absolute terms, I began to experience more peace. The more I expanded my gray areas (more than 50 shades), the more peace I experienced in my life."

"The truth is, we tend to train people how we want to be treated. If others know you have wishy-washy boundaries then they are free to walk all over you; the results you become a doormat. We have actually trained others to do this when we will allow people to wipe their muddy feet on us. After all, we are doormats."

"The greater the pain associated with love, the more likely a person is to be attracted to others who will inflict this pain for isn't this what love is? Hurt people tend to hurt other people."

"Why would God create a defective product? Why would a God who gave me free will require any certain belief? Why would a God powerful enough to create the universe need me to justify His existence? Why would He want me seeking favor with Him to manipulate my entrance to some afterlife?"

"Teenagers can spot hypocrisy a mile away and here I was telling them how to cope when they witnessed the shambles of my own life and how I was living."

"My prayer is an attitude of pure gratitude for having the opportunity to experience life on this earth with all its pain, heartache, worry, and turmoil; coupled with this gratitude is the thankfulness for just having the opportunity to have lived. That is fairly easy on good days but difficult when life puts rocks and boulders in the road."

"Codependency is a learned set of behaviors, thought processes, and habits. When combined together, they fit a very loose definition. All people exhibit these traits to some degree, but some of us allow them to dictate our relationships with others and ourselves."

"Only then can I fly.Only then can I be free -when Ilet go of me."

"Under this aura of perfection he knows how flawed he really is but his intact denial system keeps this awareness suppressed in the far recesses of his mind."

"Wounded parents often unintentionally inflict pain and suffering on their children and these childhood wounds causes a laundry list of maladaptive behaviors commonly called codependency. These habits restrict people to love-limiting relationships causing much unhappiness and distress."

"People pay a dear price when not dealing with the powerful emotions."

"There are two ways of thinking. One is living life based on fear. The other is trusting. Letting go and allowing trust to control our lives takes mental gymnastics."

"Since children from dysfunctional families are so good at judging others, they also judge themselves finding themselves unacceptable when compared to others, always assuming they are second best, not enough. This is a painful realization so often they hide behind righteous arrogance."

"Swirling in a squirrel cage of perpetual motion, the head-committee meets, argues, votes out the guidance available from emotions, and successfully keeps serenity at bay and chaos close at hand."

"Many of the habits of dysfunctional families use are not from the lack of love but are the result of fear. Knowing the love-limiting habits and behaviors of dysfunctional families is a wonderful beginning to lower the fear, allowing us to be real, allowing us all to learn how to love better."

"What this world needs now, more balloons and clowns."

"When I looked at myself through the prism of awareness, great tears came as I connected with how this wounded child felt."

"Many people look at their past and bemoan their mistakes. Those errors in judgment, behavior, hurting others, and the wrong decisions may be what consumes them now. It does not have to be that way, for recovering from a traumatic situation is all a matter of how we think about what happened. It is not so much about what happened to us as what we make of the circumstance."

"For many years, I searched for this connection outside of myself but always to no avail. It was only when I turned inward did I find this power."

"As a parent who raised his children in dysfunction, I know the parental wounds my children received were not intentional; often they were my best expression of love, sometimes coming out sideways, not as I intended."

"When this low self-worth is hidden, one can understand why the person becomes hypersensitive to the opinions of others and has a great deal of difficulty accepting criticism no matter how warranted or gently said."

"You did not invent these family habits. Your family is like mine, for thousands and thousands of years our families have embraced a dysfunctional lifestyle, passing these habits as gospel on to subsequent generations. This was not done out of malice, spite, or hate, but what they knew best. As ineffective as these habits are, you never stopped to consider another way of loving."

"Change will not successfully happen unless the emotional component is solved."

"The more judgmental a person is the sadder they are."

"Often self-love is replaced with self- loathing, compounded by beating ourselves up. We become experts at putting ourselves down, judging ourselves, and finding fault. This creates deep shame that says 'I am a mistake instead of saying 'I made a mistake."

"We can be safe and live with other defined truths exemplified by a capital 'T or we can change and with our limited time experience truth with a small 't, seeking our own understanding, which can change with new awareness."

"Acceptance is the most beautiful word in any language; this beautiful concept can only exist when you allow other people to be who they are and do not imprison them with your definition of what is right, proper, correct, or other limiting criteria. Decreasing the black and white in your thinking allows for an expansive area of gray, allowing you to live your life and others to live there life. Acceptance sets us all free! This simple change of thought creates a wonderful space for happiness to thrive."

"Putting labels on others creates a black hole of disregard where judgment thrives and schisms deepen."

"Acceptance is the most beautiful word in the English language."

"The key problem I encounter working with wounded, depressed, and unhappy people is a lack of connection starting from a disconnection from themselves and then with others. This is why love often becomes so distorted and destructive. When people experience a disconnection from themselves, they feel it but do not realize the problem."

"Honoring your word is the fiber from which trust is built."

"This woman's size protected herfrom the hurts of the worldbut it also imprisoned her soul. As the merry-go-round revolved, she ate another French fry,as a silent scream frozen on her face."

"Her screams are heard across generations who dared not scream and died without joy,in silence and isolation."

"If one wants to be loved and return it full score dagger of silence closes the door."

"Sitting on the hot seat of change requires much courage, patience, and persistence."

"People build defenses around a weakness, not around strength. Where self-esteem is strong, a defense is unnecessary."

"Change is hard, difficult, painful, and often messy."

"Families living in dysfunction seldom have healthy boundaries. Dysfunctional families have trouble knowing where they stop and others begin."

"A spiritual hell I lived in hating the God of love and knowing the god I served, hated me!"

"Other people feel love when we listen without judging and accept them without demanding change. We all desperately require these basic needs. When we can do this for another, we are indeed that person's angel."

"Chaos limits the free-flow of love and becomes a roadblock to what family members want most and sadly, it becomes the normal for the family."

"We violated each other's boundaries with verbal missiles of anger disguised in the pretense of 'just kidding."

"This imbalance causes resentments within the over-responsible and dependency with the irresponsible person and this dynamic becomes the destructive life-pattern not conducive to happy families."

"It is very difficult to develop a proper sense of self-esteem in a dysfunctional family. Having very little self-worth, looking at one's own character defects becomes so overwhelming there is no room for inward focus. People so afflicted think: 'I need to keep you from knowing me. I have already rejected me, but if you knew how flawed I am, you would also reject me and since this is all I have, I could not stand any more rejection. I am not worthy of someone understanding me so you will not get the chance...so I must judge, reject, attack, and/or find fault with you. I don't accept me so how can I accept you?"