"Straight people say, 'You know you're just gay,' and gay people say, 'You know you're just gay.' There is such a thing as bisexual!"

"I have a spiritual advisor I call up, when I just feel lost. Lately, I've been talking to God. I developed this dialogue in rehab, this dialogue with God, and every day I talk to God."

"Guilt is a weird thing to me. I don't have a lot of it."

"You cannot be this successful without having God on your side."

"I believed in God my whole life."

"Before I was known, I would go on stage and pretend I was other people. Once I pretended I was mentally handicapped. It was really wrong. One time I was a bad magician. And one time I pretended I was a Christian comic."

"My parents just neglected me, I wasn't abused or anything."

"I had no blood relatives till I made some."

"There are atheists and Christians, and there are people in both groups who are a little too heavy-handed."

"I definitely know that I play the part, however big or small, in the deaths of at least two people, Chris Farley and Phil Hartmann."

"When I was a kid, I was afraid of other kids."