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"Before I was known, I would go on stage and pretend I was other people. Once I pretended I was mentally handicapped. It was really wrong. One time I was a bad magician. And one time I pretended I was a Christian comic."
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"Today and now I hate this words they sound horrible, sound powerful and you just get more older and more older. I just said them when I was 9, now I'm 16 soon I will be 17. And again I use them "now" and "today" you can also say "no" but it's now 18:07 after five blinks with the eyes it just becomes 18:08, I hate today. Everyone uses it, but it's for two different places I also use today, for me is 4.10.2016, but for you this is past, and your today is 4.10.2026..."
"The time you feel lonely is the time you most need to be by yourself."
"Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once."
"But Time, unfortunately, though it makes animals and vegetables bloom and fade with amazing punctuality, has no such simple effect upon the mind of man. The mind of man, moreover, works with equal strangeness upon the body of time. An hour, once it lodges in the queer element of the human spirit, may be stretched to fifty or a hundred times its clock length; on the other hand, an hour may be accurately represented on the timepiece of the mind by one second."
"Time is the sole photographer of all the times, from the Big Bang till the possible Big Crunch!"
"The mind of man, moreover, works with equal strangeness upon the body of time. An hour, once it lodges in the queer element of the human spirit, may be stretched to fifty or a hundred times its clock length; on the other hand, an hour may be accurately represented on the timepiece of the mind by one second."
Explore more quotes by Andy Dick
"Straight people say, 'You know you're just gay,' and gay people say, 'You know you're just gay.' There is such a thing as bisexual!"
"I have a spiritual advisor I call up, when I just feel lost. Lately, I've been talking to God. I developed this dialogue in rehab, this dialogue with God, and every day I talk to God."
"There are atheists and Christians, and there are people in both groups who are a little too heavy-handed."
"I definitely know that I play the part, however big or small, in the deaths of at least two people, Chris Farley and Phil Hartmann."
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