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"Almost everybody I know has died, Grandma said. 'Bunch of wimps."
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"Oh, once you've been initiated into the Elderly, the world doesn't want you back. Veronica settled herself in a rattan chair and adjusted her hat just so. "We-by whom I mean anyone over sixty-commit two offenses just by existing. One is Lack of Velocity. We drive too slowly, walk too slowly, talk too slowly. The world will do business with dictators, perverts, and drug barons of all stripes, but being slowed down it cannot abide. Our second offence is being Everyman's memento mori. The world can only get comfy in shiny-eyed denial if we are out of sight."
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Personal Development
"I was talking aloud to myself. A habit of the old: they choose the wisest person present to speak to."
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Personal Development
"I spent my life learning to feel less. Every day I felt less. Is that growing old? Or is it something worse?"
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Personal Development
"As Wendy watched them they burst into a chord of tinkling, girlish laughter. She felt a smile touch her own lips; not one of them could be under sixty."
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Personal Development
"Old Age homes are civilization's dumpsites for human beings who it cannot exploit further."
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Personal Development
"The only things that old age comes standard with: grey hair and wrinkles. Wisdom and intellect are earned."
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Personal Development
"Some people do not really hate aging, they merely love the colour black."
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Personal Development
"I think that, with age, people come to realize that death is inevitable. And we need to learn to face it with serenity, wisdom and resignation. Death often frees us from a lot of senseless sufferings."
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Personal Development
"When you start believing that you are too old to enjoy something, you lose so much joy in your life."
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Personal Development
"He who is of a calm and happy nature will hardly feel the pressure of age. But to him who is of an opposite disposition, youth and age are equally a burden."
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Personal Development
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"It's not a nice thing to send a penis to a woman. It's disrespectful."
Ethics
"I failed math twice, never fully grasping probability theory. I mean, first off, who cares if you pick a black ball or a white ball out of the bag? And second, if you're bent over about the color, don't leave it to chance. Look in the damn bag and pick the color you want."
Learning
"If I let her in I'm doomed. It's like inviting a vampire into your house. Once you've invite them in, that's it, you're good as dead!"
Self
"He [Ranger] peeled my [Stephanie] clothes off and wrangled me into bed. And then suddenly he was inside me. He once told me that time spent with him would ruin me for all other men. When he said it, I thought it was an outrageous threat. I no longer though it outrageous."
Affection
"Calories don't count if they're connected to a celebration. Everyone knows this."
Lifestyle
"Now that we know you're not a hundred percent vampire you should stop trying to suck necks,' I said to Ziggy.'I'll try,' Ziggy said, 'but it's a hard habit to break."
Behavior
"I always wanted to eat with a Negro, Grandma said.Yeah, well I always wanted to eat with a boney-assed old white woman, Lula said. 'So I guess this works out good."
Friendship
"She'll be back,' Ranger said. 'But not tonight.'[Stephanie] 'How'd you get her to leave?''Told her I was gonna spend the next twelve hours ruining you for all other men, and so she might as well go home.'I could feel the heat rush to my face.Ranger gave me the wolf smile. 'I lied about it being tonight,' he said."
Romance
"Maybe it's just not the right time for us to be married. I don't want to be a bounty hunter for the rest of my life, but I certainly don't want to be a housewife right now. And I really don't want to be married to someone who gives me ultimatums.And maybe Joe needs to examine what he wants from a wife. He was raised in a traditional Italian household with a stay-at-home mother and domineering father. If he wants a wife who will fit into that mold, I'm not for him. I might be a stay-at-home mother someday, but I'll always be trying to fly off the garage roof. That's just who I am."
Relationship
"I can't help it. I'm just a big gasbag. I still got leftover barbeque gas.' She squeezed her eyes shut tight and did a full minute-long far. 'Excuse me,' she said."
Humor
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