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"Here's the thing - I'm single, I haven't been married, I don't have kids yet. If I do have kids I would be interested to see them in my life, so here's a movie for kids and I'm in there and I'm supposed to be kind of funny for kids."
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"It's a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it."
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Personal Development

"The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' but 'That's funny...'"
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Personal Development

"Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh."
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Personal Development

"That's something - you laugh about Eminem... It's funny, man, because I didn't like him when he first came out, ya know. It seemed like a big joke. But I think the guy's for real, and I like his lyrics!"
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Personal Development

"All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me."
Author Name
Personal Development

"Stealing, you'll go far in life. Actually, there is something funny about getting away with it."
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Personal Development

"My little dog, he did not get ill. It is so funny that people get ill on a boat and dogs do not."
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Personal Development

"I'm doing 5000 seat theaters and audiences are going nuts, it's fantastic and it makes me very happy. I'm dirty, but not like this; I just do comedy that I find funny. I'm working on a new tv show for cable and it's not set up yet."
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Personal Development

"I remember nearly having a fit of the giggles during the reading because dear Daniel was SO respectful and serious and I was finding the whole situation funny because I was speaking to his profile."
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Personal Development

"It's funny, but when there are dominant teams, there are a number of people who rail about the fact that they're always seeing the Dallas Cowboys or the San Francisco 49ers or the Green Bay either in the playoffs or in the Super Bowl."
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"I once made love for an hour and fifteen minutes, but it was the night the clocks are set ahead."
Love


"I think it's one of the main negative emotional ingredients that fuels show business, because there's so much at stake and the fear of failure looms large."
Business


"I guess he wanted to see a little more sexual activity because in real life, in bed I think less is more and let the woman come to me. Frankly, I don't even need a woman there."
Life


"The only way I would go back to hosting would be if it were something entirely new. It would prevent me from wanting to host a standard-fare kind of talk show."
Talk


"I'm dating a woman now who, evidently, is unaware of it."
Dating


"I play basketball on Sundays and I'm a very spiritual guy; I read a lot of Eastern philosophy and I meditate."
Basketball


"My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don't really know me."
Friendship


"You know it's funny that none of the regular late-night shows now use guest hosts the way Johnny did. No one talks about it much, but it's curious that they don't do it. They would each have to be asked the reason why they don't."
Funny


"I don't know how to ground myself without the other actor present."
Actor


"Because I am afraid of commitment. This movie certainly has some bearing and is some reflection of my real feeling about relationships, because I do have commitment issues. My friends tell me I have intimacy problems, but they don't know me, so who cares what they think?"
Commitment
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