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Steven Wright

"There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators."

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"There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators."

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Amber Hurdle

"Every time I watch a person awaken to their inner strength, I see what we're made of, and we're magnificent. We're brilliant. We really are. We crave magic because we are magic. We crave power because we are pure power."

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Amber Hurdle

"I have a fantasy where Ted Turner is elected President but refuses because he doesn't want to give up power."

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Amber Hurdle

"There is none made so great, but he may both need the help and service, and stand in fear of the power and unkindness, even of the meanest of mortals."

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Amber Hurdle

"...without money you cannot fight money."

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Amber Hurdle

"When you win, the rules change, and you find you've lost."

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Amber Hurdle

"The soul fire determines the strength of the spirit."

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Amber Hurdle

"The strongest and most effective force in guaranteeing the long-term maintenance of power is not violence in all the forms deployed by the dominant to control the dominated, but consent in all the forms in which the dominated acquiesce in their own domination."

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Amber Hurdle

"The shield of faith is sword to conquer every fear."

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Amber Hurdle

"Without craziness, there is no courage."

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Amber Hurdle

"You must conquer every fear with faith."

Explore more quotes by Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
"What happens if you get scared half to death twice?"
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Steven Wright
"You know those things that you throw the twigs into and it spits them out? That's what I do. The branches are like life, and I throw them into my head and some of it comes out as humor."
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Steven Wright
"I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room."
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Steven Wright
"I don't feel that I'm explaining the world or teaching people anything. And I'm not trying to be a mirror, showing them what's really going on the world. All I'm trying to do is think of stuff that's funny, just like when I'm kidding around with my friends."
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Steven Wright
"It doesn't matter what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature."
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Steven Wright
"The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?"
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Steven Wright
"If at first you don't succeed then skydiving definitely isn't for you."
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Steven Wright
"I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."
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Steven Wright
"You know how it is when you're reading a book and falling asleep, you're reading, reading... and all of a sudden you notice your eyes are closed? I'm like that all the time."
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Steven Wright
"Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, 'Do I know you?"
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