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Steven Wright

"There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators."

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"There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators."

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Amber Hurdle

"If all mankind minus one were of one opinion, mankind would be no more justified in silencing that one person than he, if he had the power, would be justified in silencing mankind."

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Amber Hurdle

"A wolf can only mock a lion thousands of miles away."

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Amber Hurdle

"I would not send a poor girl into the world, ignorant of the snares that beset her path; nor would I watch and guard her, till, deprived of self-respect and self-reliance, she lost the power or the will to watch and guard herself ."

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Amber Hurdle

"Of course, Marxism is an example of what Carl Popper would have called a 'World Three' structure, in that it's got immense power as an idea, but you couldn't actually hold up anything in the world and say: 'this is Marxism'."

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Amber Hurdle

"One who has great wisdom has great power."

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Amber Hurdle

"There is none made so great, but he may both need the help and service, and stand in fear of the power and unkindness, even of the meanest of mortals."

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Amber Hurdle

"They couldn't hurt Gansey. Nothing could hurt him; people who said money couldn't buy everything hadn't seen anyone as rich as the Aglionby boys. They were untouchable, immune to life's troubles. Only death couldn't be swiped away by a credit card."

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Amber Hurdle

"You can contol nothing but your own thoughts, but with your thoughts you can control the whole world."

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Amber Hurdle

"Your mind can help you do the unimaginable. Your hands can help you get the unattainable. Your heart can help you accomplish the unachievable. Your soul can help you create the inconceivable. Your God can help you achieve the unthinkable."

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Amber Hurdle

"Think you're a slave and you'll find a master, think you're a master and slaves will find you."

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"A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths."
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"If at first you don't succeed then skydiving definitely isn't for you."
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Steven Wright
"If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?"
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Steven Wright
"I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room."
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Steven Wright
"I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died."
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Steven Wright
"Why isn't the word 'phonetically spelled with an 'f?"
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Steven Wright
"I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize."
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Steven Wright
"I don't like politicians, and I don't like politics. I definitely don't want to be associated with any of them."
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Steven Wright
"Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark."
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Steven Wright
"If a mute kid swears, should his mother wash his hands with soap?"
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