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"I touched an Oscar once. Friend of mine has one, for writing. As soon as I touched it, he said, Now you'll never win one."
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"There is little to be said in favour of poverty, but it was often an incubator of true friendship. Many people will appear to befriend you when you are wealthy, but precious few will do the same when you are poor."
"The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it."
"Of all the things which wisdom provides to make us entirely happy, much the greatest is the possession of friendship."
"The things we share with each other are deeply felt from within our hearts that neither of us will ever forget. For the gifts that are priceless are the ones that are heartfelt; their roots are within our soul. They are the greatest gifts, of all."
"A true friend freely, advises justly, assists readily, adventures boldly, takes all patiently, defends courageously, and continues a friend unchangeably."
"On July 26, 1916, I announced to all my friends in America that from now on I resolved to write no more poems in the classical language, and to begin my experiments in writing poetry in the so-called vulgar tongue of the people."
"Love between man and man is impossible because there must not be sexual intercourse and friendship between man and woman is impossible because there must be sexual intercourse."
"In the early days of his reign, Bismarck confided to a friend that it would some day be necessary for Germany to confine William II in an insane asylum."
"At school my boobs were bigger than all my friends' and I was afraid to show them. Now, I feel they make my outfits look better. They're like an accessory."
"Maybe we should go on lots of double dates, Cath said, "and then we can get married on the same day in a double ceremony, in matching dresses, and the four of us will light the unity candle all at the same time."Pfft, Levi said, "I'm picking out my own dress."
Explore more quotes by Rob Corddry
"If people see me in some sort of niche, then that's fine. As long as it's not The Naked Guy, I don't care."
"I actually got the part. And I thought, Well, I'll do it for a while. I'll just quit if it's stupid."
"The first year or so on The Daily Show is pretty intense in terms of travel. You're going to the worst places in the country, talking to the craziest people in the world."
"Once I found out how much an Off-Off-Broadway actor makes, I was whoring myself out the next day."
"You're encouraged to pitch your own story. That way, you'll have more control over what you do."
"I don't know how this company got the name National Shakespeare Company, because it was literally like retards employing retards."
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