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"If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck."
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"Violence and smut are of course everywhere on the airwaves. You cannot turn on your television without seeing them, although sometimes you have to hunt around."
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"I don't think any industry was ever as closely scrutinized and written about and constantly in the public eye as television."
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"I am currently talking to one of the studios about making American Star as a TV series."
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"I didn't realize that television has gone through immense changes and has become very progressive."
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"I've appeared on a weekly syndicated television show since 1980."
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"He who is created by television can be destroyed by television."
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"Television speeded everything up."
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"There was a little afternoon show that was called Afternoon. Back in those days in television, most local stations had a midday show for housewives that had a series of things. It was like a variety show for midday."
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"I think Les Moonves is the most highly overrated person in television."
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"A modern revolutionary group heads for the television station."
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"I say, If everybody in this house lives where it's God first, friends and family second and you third, we won't ever have an argument."
Family

"If your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home, you might be a redneck."
Home

"I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points."
People

"Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother - you're not sure what you've got but you're pretty sure you're not going to like it."
Present

"Between New York and LA, there's 200 million people that aren't hip, and they don't want to be hip."
People

"I had to perform at the White House for the president, That's always kind of a weird set to try to put together."
President

"You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you're not 'professional' any more."
Moon

"There's no down time any more."
Time

"Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling."
People

"Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn't tell their therapist."
People
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