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"If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck."
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"It is ridiculous that somebody picks up the phone and calls somebody they see on television. Why don't they call somebody in their area? Don't they know about that?"
"Gleason became like a mentor of mine. I had Gleason helping me on television, Godfrey on radio."
"Simple stories... emerge as lovely films or television pieces."
"Television has dried up for my generation, so it's plays and films."
"I moved to LA and decided to do films and television, mainly because the theater in New York is totally dead."
"I told them I belong to the same organizations and clubs Mrs. Roosevelt belongs to, but with a few brave exceptions, I was still unable to do films or television for the next seven years."
"I think Les Moonves is the most highly overrated person in television."
"Television doesn't want to admit it has those dreadful roach ads on anyway."
Explore more quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
"I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I'd spent about half the day in the woods."
"I've been to all 50 states, and traveled this whole country, and 90 percent of the people are good folks. The rest of them take after the other side of the family."
"Little girls love dolls. They just don't love doll clothes. We've got four thousand dolls and ain't one of them got a stitch of clothes on."
"Between New York and LA, there's 200 million people that aren't hip, and they don't want to be hip."
"Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother - you're not sure what you've got but you're pretty sure you're not going to like it."
"I refuse to this day to do e-mail because everybody I know that does it, it takes another two or three hours a day. I don't want to give two or three more hours away."
"If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.'"
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