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Henny Youngman

"Why don't Jews drink? It interferes with their suffering."

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"Why don't Jews drink? It interferes with their suffering."

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Akiroq Brost

"Every night death came, slowly, painfully, and every morning Maddox awoke in bed, knowing he'd have to die again later. That was his greatest curse and his eternal punishment."

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Akiroq Brost

"A life of hardship and personal suffering is unavoidable. A person must endure many humiliations of the mind and body, and expect persons whom they trusted to someday betray them. People inevitably witness the death of their loved ones. We also witness acts of depravity committed by criminals that lurk in every society and rouge acts of scandal committed by government officials in charge of the public welfare. A person must nonetheless resist personal discouragement, sadness, dejection, and despondency. I must reach an accord with pain, suffering, and anguish, or forevermore be tortured by reality while constantly seeking to escape from the inescapable agony of being."

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Akiroq Brost

"When we suffer in silence, we think that we are alone, different, separate. When we share our stories of suffering, we find that we are the same."

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Akiroq Brost

"There are people who have an appetite for grief pleasure is not strong enough and they crave pain. They have mithridatic stomachs which must be fed on poisoned bread natures so doomed that no prosperity can sooth their ragged and dishevelled desolation."

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Akiroq Brost

"The unavoidable has touched the life of every human being on the face of the earth. Some have rebounded, others have given up--but all of us have felt the wings of tragedy brushing against us."

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Akiroq Brost

"Every person in the AA program who's successful is living proof that he or she does have power over addictive drugs and alcohol - the power to stop."

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Akiroq Brost

"We must picture hell as a state where everyone is perpetually concerned about his own dignity and advancement, where everyone has a grievance, and where everyone lives with the deadly serious passions of envy, self-importance, and resentment."

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Akiroq Brost

"It was well said-by Jean Tarrou in The Plague, I think-that attendance at lectures in an unknown language will help to hone one's awareness of the exceedingly slow passage of time. I once had the experience of being 'waterboarded' and can now dimly appreciate how much every second counts in the experience of the torture victim, forced to go on enduring what is unendurable."

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Akiroq Brost

"I will say nothing against the course of my existence. But at bottom it has been nothing but pain and burden, and I can affirm that during the whole of my 75 years, I have not had four weeks of genuine well-being. It is but the perpetual rolling of a rock that must be raised up again forever."

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Akiroq Brost

"If she's in pain now she doesn't show it; she just closes her eyes and surrenders, and that is worse than her screaming for help, somehow."

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"I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back."
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"When God sneezed, I didn't know what to say."
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"I played a great horse yesterday! It took seven horses to beat him."
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"While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake."
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"A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student."
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"My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way."
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"My son complains about headaches. I tell him all the time, when you get out of bed, it's feet first!"
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Henny Youngman
"Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to."
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Henny Youngman
"You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready."
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Henny Youngman
"My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that's not so bad; but New York City?"
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