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"School did give me one of the greatest gifts of my life, though. I learned how to read, and for that I remain thankful. I would have died otherwise. As soon as I was able, I read, alone. Under the covers with a flashlight or in my corner of the attic - I sought solace in books. It was from books that I started to get an inkling of the kinds of assholes I was dealing with. I found allies too, in books, characters my age who were going through or had triumphed against the same bullshit."
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"They spent the first three years of school getting you to pretend stuff and then the rest of it marking you down if you did the same thing."
"This is what a real teacher does: she opens the gates of our minds to the possibilities of the soul."
"Frivolity is inborn, conceit acquired by education."
"Since we cannot know all there is to be known about anything, we ought to know a little about everything."
"If I show up at your house ten years from now and find nothing in your living room but The Readers Digest, nothing on your bedroom night table but the newest Dan Brown novel, and nothing in your bathroom but Jokes for the John, I'll chase you down to the end of your driveway and back, screaming 'Where are your books? You graduated college ten years ago, so how come there are no damn books in your house? Why are you living on the intellectual equivalent of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese?"
"It's hard for me to believe that people who read very little (or not at all in some cases) should presume to write and expect people to like what they have written."
"Everything has changed. . . except the way we think. The aim [of education] must be the training of independently acting and thinking individuals, who, however, see in the service of community their highest life problems."
Explore more quotes by Craig Ferguson
"I think commercialism helps Christmas and I think that the more capitalism we can inject into the Christmas holiday the more spiritual I feel about it"
"Divorce lawyers stoke anger and fear in their clients, knowing that as long as the conflicts remain unresolved the revenue stream will keep flowing."
"I found the prospect daunting, but somehow comforting, too, because the counselors insisted it could be done, and, after all, many of them were recovering alcoholics themselves."
"For example, in Paris, if one desires to buy something, you enter the store and say 'Good morning, sir' or 'madam, ' depending on what is appropriate, you wait until you are greeted, you make polite chitchat about the weather or some such, and when the salesperson asks what they can do for you, then and only then do you bring up the vulgar business of the transaction you require."
"There is no Thanksgiving back in the old country where I come from. You know why? Because being thankful is a sin."
"Strange star - like object over Oslo right before Obama arrives. A gift of a golden medal given by a group of wise men... Nah."
"She still cared for me, and the best way I could make amends to her was to be happy.I do have a knack for finding great women."
"Hey dawg, wassup?' he said, in the strange way that white talent agents from Los Angeles do in an attempt to sound like young black men from underprivileged backgrounds. A linguistic fashion as peculiar as the lisp that everybody in medieval Spain had to adopt after the king developed a speech impediment."
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