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"Magic Johnson, former basketball player, may run for mayor of LA in the next election. Remember the good 'ol days when only qualified people ran for office like actors and professional wrestlers."
People
"For the first time ever, overweight people outnumber average people in America. Doesn't that make overweight the average then? Last month you were fat, now you're average - hey, let's get a pizza!"
Time
"The Bush administration said today there is a lot of support for us to attack Iraq. Exxon, Mobil, Texaco, Chevron, they're all lining up."
Iraq
"You know what they should call this war - Son of Bush vs. Son of a Bitch."
War
"If God doesn't destroy Hollywood Boulevard, he owes Sodom and Gomorrah an apology."
God
"Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day."
Father
"The crime problem in New York is getting really serious. The other day the Statue of Liberty had both hands up."
Crime
"The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin."
Men
"If God had wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates."
God
"According to New York publishers, Bill Clinton will get more money for his book than Hillary Clinton got for hers. Well, duh. At least his book has some sex in it."
Money
More
"No money is better spent than what is laid out for domestic satisfaction."
Author Name
Personal Development
"To make dollars from cents you have to have sense."
Author Name
Personal Development
"A drunkard would not give money to sober people. He said they would only eat it, and buy clothes and send their children to school with it."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Where large sums of money are concerned, it is advisable to trust nobody."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Because people have no thoughts to deal in, they deal cards, and try and win one another's money. Idiots!"
Author Name
Personal Development
"See money " currency - as the flow of energy and giving that cycles between you, others and me. Now let it flow kindly, fairly and mindfully."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Money should be ones demand and not command, one should not become a slave of Money because we made money to help us trade and not to make us, we're already made even without money."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Money, money, all is money! Could you write even a penny novelette without money to put heart into you? Invention, energy, wit, style, charm--they've all got to be paid for in hard cash."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Money is the last enemy that shall never be subdued. While there is flesh there is money or the want of money, but money is always on the brain so long as there is a brain in reasonable order."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as good as the Prohibition one did, why, in five years we would have the smartest race of people on earth."
Author Name
Personal Development
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