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"Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter?"
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Exlpore more Washington quotes
"The most difficult owner for me was the late George Marshall of Washington."
"There's a Washington standard of casually putting things off the record. It's really gone too far. I don't know an easy way to turn it back."
"Mix one part Denzel Washington and two parts Eva Mendes and you have a nice hot cocktail."
"I bet after seeing us, George Washington would sue us for calling him "father.""
"I was born in Washington, D.C., and I was raised in Milwaukee."
"If I decide to tour, I definitely would come to Washington, D.C. We'll see."
"Like they said about The West Wing, you can't do a show about Washington until you can."
"Voters definitely believe Washington is corrupt - but most think it's bipartisan."
"Only in Washington does a decrease in the proposed increase equal a spending cut."
Explore more quotes by Steven Wright
"People may think I'm trying something new by telling stories, but they're just jokes connected to give the illusion of stories. But really, I just continue using my imagination and creating. That's what I do."
"You know those things that you throw the twigs into and it spits them out? That's what I do. The branches are like life, and I throw them into my head and some of it comes out as humor."
"I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room."
"I don't feel that I'm explaining the world or teaching people anything. And I'm not trying to be a mirror, showing them what's really going on the world. All I'm trying to do is think of stuff that's funny, just like when I'm kidding around with my friends."
"The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?"
"I paint; I draw and paint - I've been doing that since I was in third grade, drawing realistically and then changing to abstract art. That was my first creative thing before guitar or comedy."
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