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"Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter?"
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"Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter?"
"Voters definitely believe Washington is corrupt - but most think it's bipartisan."
"There's a Washington standard of casually putting things off the record. It's really gone too far. I don't know an easy way to turn it back."
"The most difficult owner for me was the late George Marshall of Washington."
"If I decide to tour, I definitely would come to Washington, D.C. We'll see."
"I was born in Washington, D.C., and I was raised in Milwaukee."
"I bet after seeing us, George Washington would sue us for calling him "father.""
"Mix one part Denzel Washington and two parts Eva Mendes and you have a nice hot cocktail."
"Like they said about The West Wing, you can't do a show about Washington until you can."
Explore more quotes by Steven Wright
"The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing."
"I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving."
"My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant."
"There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators."
"In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number."
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