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"In tragedy every moment is eternity; in comedy, eternity is a moment."
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"I had to stop myself from laughing. Who needs help taking a pill?"
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Personal Development
"Comedy was one of those genres that while appearing quite jolly was actually highly dangerous."
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Personal Development
"She's got feet like boats, whiskers like an American, and her undies are filthy."
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Personal Development
"Are you out of your goddamn mind? You think we can take on two hundred soldiers? I know I am an extremely attractive man, J, but I am not Bruce Lee."Who's Bruce Lee?"Who's Bruce Lee? Kenji asks, horrified. "Oh my God. We can't even be friends anymore."Why? Was he a friend of yours?"You know what, he says, "just stop. Just-I can't even talk to you right now."
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"I never watch comedies they suck if something sucks it sucks there isn't doubt about it."
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Personal Development
"I glanced at Derek. The boy wonder didn't melt into a pile of goo, although his gaze was glued to Rowena's chest. Avoiding eye contact. Good strategy."
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"I hate comedy... Yo...-yo bitch."
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Personal Development
"Now, if you have never been hit by a flying burrito, count yourself lucky. In terms of deadly projectiles, it's right up there with grenades and cannonballs."
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Personal Development
"Comedy to me has always seemed a social tightrope for the comedian. For all axioms intellectually sound the general public would prefer to be amused, but in those emotionally sound, it then chooses to get offended."
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Personal Development
"Have a chocolate-covered raisin, he said."They look like rat droppings, said the Chair.The Dean peered at them in the gloom."So that's it, he said. "The bag fell on the floor a minute ago, and I thought there seemed rather a lot."
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"Between our birth and death we may touch understanding, As a moth brushes a window with its wing."
Death
"Comedy is an escape, not from truth but from despair; a narrow escape into faith."
Faith
"Has made an honest woman of the supernatural."
Supernatural
"In my plays I want to look at life - at the commonplace of existence-as if we had just turned a corner and run into it for the first time."
Life
"The lines marking a penalty area are a disgrace to the playing fields of a public school."
Disgrace
"Imagination is the wide-open eye which leads us always to see truth more vividly."
Imagination
"The best thing we can do is to make wherever we're lost in look as much like home as we can."
Home
"I want to look at life - at the commonplaces of existence - as if we had just turned a corner and run into it for the first time."
Life
"Coffee in England is just toasted milk."
Coffee
"The dark is light enough."
Light
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